Garage Sales

Since October is near, a lot of towns are having their Oktoberfests which means garage sale season begins.  The town I work in was having it's garage sale weekend so I decided I would get up early and venture into the psychoville to find a bike I've been looking for.  The fancy neighborhood of the town is where I wanted to go because a co-worker of mine lives there.  I was hoping she would drive around with me, but she kept insisting that driving wasn't going to happen and that she refused to go despite it being in her neighborhood. I ignored her warnings. Ben wanted to go fishing that morning, and all my friends were preoccupied sleeping and what not so I had to go solo.  I got up early Saturday morning and when I arrived to the neighborhood of choice, I was shocked at what I saw.  Normally when you think of garage sales, you picture an entire town, some people walking and most just slowly scooting along in their vans or vespa scooters or whatever, pissing off everyone who got stuck behind them who isn't participating in the garage festivities.  This was different.  People were packed along either side of the road, leaving nothing but a tiny path in the middle for cars to squeeze through.  Families were piling out of their Hummers and BMW suv's, sporting fanny packs and visors, pushing strollers, walking down the middle of the path, making it nearly impossible to get through.  I was dumbfounded. I called my co-worker repeatedly in a panic because she never around her phone. When she did finally pick up I immediately questioned her on the strange event happening in her neighborhood.  She gave me the 'I told you so' speech, and I eventually ended up in her driveway.  It was definitely an advantage knowing someone in the neighborhood because there wasn't anywhere else to park.  It was basically a flea market with no parking lot. 


When I left my house that morning, it was windy, cold, foggy and on the verge of raining.  I decided that jeans and hoodie would be a good choice.  Upon arriving to Pleasantville, the sun popped through the clouds and radiated a whole lot of heat and sunshine throughout.  I figured this would be a good opportunity to get some exercise, but thereafter, was doubtful it would be very enjoyable to walk the neighborhood in skinny jeans and what not. Now sweating and irritated, I stopped at my first house.  I don't know about some woman, but me personally, I think sweating is the most annoying thing that could happen right after you get done putting make up on and doing your hair.  Granite, I had my bedhead-do up in a messy bun thing and wasn't wearing much make up, but I've been growing my hair out so I have a lot of baby hair growing in. So when I start sweating, the baby hair sweats into a curly cue and makes a perfect swirl on my shiny forehead. I ended up buying a wine holder for Ben's bomber beer bottles.  We're not big wine drinkers, but I'm trying to accomplish an Italy/Mediterranean look in my kitchen and thought it would be a nice touch.  I also bought a few decorations for kitchen 'theme', and a Hoover Wind tunnel vacuum for $15 bucks.  I was unsuccessful on the bike, but I got a vacuum so that's good.  The vacuum I have at home now is a hand-me-down from Ben's grandma. The vacuum is a 1980 Winter Olympic Electrolux vacuum.

The thing is still kicking good and strong, but it's a pain to use. It's like dragging a little kid around in a store that doesn't want to be there so they just go limp and you have to pull them around like a big wet noodle.

On the way back to my car and before I bought the vacuum, I saw what I thought was the PERFECT bike for me. It was a maroon woman's mountain bike with a water bottle holder and squishy silicone butt pads, which is unnecessary, but a perk.  Now my co-worker, Rochelle, always tells us stories about two of her neighbors. I will just say their names are Dee and Judy.  According to Rochelle, Judy was influenced by Dee and turned into a real bitch even though she used to be an nice person.  Judy lost a lot of weight, and is now 'very blessed'. Blessed about the weight loss and blessed about life.  Once again, this may just be me, but I get extremely irritated when people describe their lives as 'blessed'.  It's one thing to be 'blessed' if you are a religious person and stick solely with your religious views or if you are a cancer survivor, but people who drink a lot, eat a lot of fast food and smoke cigarettes bother me when they describe their life as 'blessed'.  Anyway, when I walked up to Judy to ask her about the bike, she was munching viciously on a stick of celery. I asked her what she wanted for the bike and she told me it wasn't for sale. Turns out, it was Dee's bike. Dee had ridden the bike over to visit her bff Judy and had so conveniently parked the bike amongst the garage sale items.  At this point, Judy, Dee, and their husbands were all questioning me about what kind of bike I wanted. How old did I want the bike to be? What color bike did I want? Etc.  Feeling completely stupid now, I just kept saying, "Thank you" and slowly trying to back away, but I felt like they were keeping me there to entertain their garage circus.  Finally Dee says, "What about those people across the street? They are selling bikes."  to which I replied, "Those are men's bikes, I don't really want a men's bike".  The reason I do not want a men's bike, is because generally, men are taller then woman.  I am 5' 4", and I have short legs. I am not going to buy a men's bike that I have to struggle to climb onto. I had already looked at those bikes, they were pretty tall as far as 'climbing up onto'.  I guess my response must've offended her because she looked taken aback. "What's wrong with a men's bike? I ride a men's bike. I've been riding a men's bike for years!"  At this point, I'd have enough, told her I would 'keep it in mind' and stomped off through the grass to Rochelle's house to get my car.  People are unbelievable. Who cares if I don't want a men's bike?  Why did my preferences about bikes offend her? If I have something in my mind that I want, I'm not going to get something else because some celery munching, visor wearing weirdos thinks I should. 

So overall the day was success and I only spent a little under $30 bucks.  I could have spent about $300 on all the decor I found, but luckily I ran out of cash in my wallet and had to call it quits.  That is why I do not keep a lot of cash on me on all times, it makes it way easier to spend. One thing I did learn though is that I am going back next year and I am definitely bringing someone with me.