Hola,
So I've been checking out the Dr. Oz website lately, because his show come on at 4, and I can't watch it. The few times that I've watched it, are the times I've stayed home sick or something, which is rarely. Seems the only times I take off work, I'm doing more work on my day off then I actually do at work. Anyway, on his website he has a test you can take to tell you what your true age is. Mine was 26. Not too bad. And the only reason it was 26 for some really stupid reasons that I can't even remember. I think one was driving 5-10 miles over the speed limit? Come on, if you really think about it, driving over the speed limit shouldn't have anything to do with age because if you get into an accident due to speeding, does your age really matter? I just didn't get that, but ok.
Then I also found a link on there entitled, '100 people with 100 weight loss success stories!', but there were only 4 stories. I was a little annoyed. I enjoy reading other people's success stories, but I don't like being lied too about it. Fix your site Dr. Oz.
I think it's funny too that his crowd is all women. I was watching one day not too long ago and they panned across the crowd, and I think there were 2 guys total. The rest of them were middle aged, pudgy, women with 80's hair and bright orange lip stick just swooning over this guy. Then he calls a random woman up from the crowd and suddenly the show turns into the 'Price is Right'. A lady comes sailing from her seat like usually a black woman or a very fat woman, so blind with excitement they practically soar over the crowd like Spiderman. It's hilarious. I wouldn't be excited. He probably has bad doctor breath like most doctors do. You're doctors, for every patient's sake, chew some gum.
So other than that, everything is going good, aside from this migraine I have, but I believe this is due to boredom.
I thought about something today...This blog was originally intended to be keeping track of my weightloss, and it's turned into free based novel about everything but that.
So a few little updates on that: I have been going to the gym still, but in the morning, which I find to be fantastic. I absolutely love, it, and I don't even care if my hair is curly with sweat when I leave. It's all in the name of wearing a size 7 once again. Oh, and I don't have to fight lesbians off everything, the gym is virtually empty in the morning.
Dr. Oz also told me that I need to start doing more flexibility and strength excersizing, and less cardio and weightlifting (this was another part of my true age test I forgot about). For my body type, I am supposed to be doing a whole lot of yogo and pilates and less of the other stuff. So I've been trying it. I've been alternating between going to the gym in the morning and doing yoga and pilates. Those exercises are A LOT harder then they look. Sure, when you watch, you're like 'pffftt, simple'...you are sadly mistaken, my friend. Pilates and yoga are focused on 'core strength' so everything from your chest to your pelvic bone is consistantly being worked throughout the whole exercise routine. I did 45 minutes of both the other day (I use Comcast Fitness channels on Demand) and I am extremely sore about 2 hours later. It also improves posture, which makes you taller. So I've just been switching it up...a little cardio there, weightlifting there, and flexibility and strengthening everywhere else. I did some Jillian Michaels routines this morning, and she kicked my ass. Seriously, if the weight doesn't start falling off soon, I'm gonna start scissor kicking people's groins. I eat awesome, I drink lots of water, I work out, I can't figure out what the hell I'm doing wrong. I seriously cannot. I have to actually try to FIND reasons now.
Poster does not like when I exercise on the front room floor. Yesterday I was doing yoga and at some point I laid my head down and he thought I was laying it down close to him to play I guess, so he provided a death grip on my skull with his werewolf talons and attacked my head. I slapped him, and he took off at the couch, and did his weird lizard crawl thing across it...I coulda killed him.
Well it's 5. See ya later.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Manbugs and Blue 70's toilets.
Hello, I'm back.
Well we are all moved into our new house. That was the most exhausting 5 days I've had since Phish Fest 8 in California, and that includes the 62 hours we drove in 4 days, and the 10 or so miles we walked in the scorching hot sun in sandals in 2 days. By the way, we are flying everywhere from now on.
Wednesday, Ben closed at 3 pm, and we were out of there by 4 and started getting our stuff out. We thought it would be a decently easy move since "we don't have that much stuff"...wrong! We have a lot of stuff! Everytime we thought we were done, we'd open a cabinet or turn a corner and there'd be a pile of stuff somewhere. What ticked me off, is I went back to get the cat Wednesday night and my landlord was there hangin' around. I was sweaty, smelly, and running up and down the stairs like a crazy person trying to load one last load (and a furry, retarded cat) into my car, and she came up and pretty much let herself in, and was poking around, asking me if I left the keys for her and what not. I'm trying my best not to be rude, but seriously, was she blind? There was stuff still sitting all over the counters, the fridge had not been emptied, obviously nothing had been cleaned yet...I mean really? Plus, I'd talked to her the day before and she said, "We're going on vacation anyway, so take until Monday and just get everything taken care of, no big rush!' But here she was, 3 hours after we closed, badgering me about where the keys were? So finally, I think she got the hint and left. So I rounded up the little werewolf and went home for the night.
Thursday we went back over and cleaned the place, not very well, but enough. We just wanted to start organizing our new place, and get the hell out of that apartment, so we did a half assed job. We didn't break or ruin anything while we were there, so all the dirtiness was just natural, over time, build up. Just little things, that I'm sure our landlord will deduct out of Ben's security deposit somehow. We mopped, vaccumed, wiped down all the cabinets and scrubbed the fridge out, and that's about it. The landlord decided to come back with her husband and bother us some more, and he even had the nerve to tell us not to throw our garbage in the dumpster. Uh, ok, so are we supposed to throw it? Load it in our cars and take it to our new place? I don't think so...So they left and we threw all of our garbage in the dumpster.
We finished that up at about 12, then went to Menards to get garbage cans, and other odds and ends, then to Lonestar, then back home to clean some more. We got all the kitchen stuff put away, and I worked my ass off, scrubbing and mopping and organizing, did 4 loads of laundry, vaccumed, dishes...ugh. I finished at about 8 pm, and practically collapsed onto the couch. Friday we had a party, of course, we had to break in the new place, but 3 hours after guests arrived, our old, pastel blue 70's toilet stopped flushing. So we were forced to go up and down the stairs for the past 2 days to use the upstairs bathroom. Ben replaced the toilet, so now we have a pretty white porcelain one, that certainly makes the bathroom look better. Except, now we have a blue toilet sitting on our back porch, because garbage pick up isn't until Wednesday. What our neighbors must think...
By the way, my landlord texted me at 7:45 Friday morning and asked us if were done yet. I wanted to write back, "LAY OFF LADY!" But I didn't. Why do you tell us you'll give us until Monday, when it actuality you are only giving us a day. Did I mention they were going on vacation? Oh, and Ben won't get his security deposit back until they get back, which is April 12th. But she's giving us a hard time and hurrying us. Rediculous.
Saturday we had our internet and cable hooked up, and the first thing I did was recover my gamertag for Xbox Live and play Halo 3 for 2 hours. That was pretty much all we did Saturday. It's rather sad how dependant the human race is on TV and video games nowadays for entertainment, but I don't care, I have Halo now, and that's all I care about.
Sunday we ate a lot of food for Easter, and I whined about a giant misquito bite that I'd scratched to the point of bleeding, all day. I feared I was getting gangrene, and my foot would soon need amputation. It's better today though...infact, I scratched another one on the back of my leg, and caused that to bleed as well. I'm just a misquito bitten mess...come to think of it, they could be manbug (ladybugs) bites too because we have been overridden with them invading our home. What is with those things? They swarm in corners and windows, die for 3 weeks, and then suddenly come back to life. I was sitting in our upstairs bathroom, and I noticed 3 on the floor. I thought to myself, "I bet you that at least 1 or 2 of those are still alive, and will soon be migrating to another part of the house soon..." A few days later, I was up there again, and 2 of them were gone, one had been smashed. I was sitting at work one day too (ironically, in the bathroom again), and there was one on the window sill. It was there for a solid 3 weeks at least...I am not exaggerating. And I know I'm not exaggerating because for those 3 weeks, I go in there and laugh to myself because nobody had bothered to get a tissue and throw it away, including me. One day, I was sitting there, and saw something moving out of the corner of my eye, I turned, and low and behold, the 3 week, supposedly dead manbug started moving and trying to get up. I couldn't believe my eyes. I just sat there and stared at it for what seemed like hours. Finally I picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. I was convinced there is only two ways to kill a manbug. You have to drown or burn them, otherwise, they just keep coming back. You squish one in a tissue, throw in the garbage, and a few days later it'll be crawling outta there, broken and battered, but determined to crawl on one more surface. Preferably your clean dishes drying in the sink, or something of that nature. I did a little research on them, as I was curious to know why they come back to life after 2 or 3 weeks, and I couldn't find anything on it. The information I found said that they hibernate in the winter, but not for 3 weeks on a window sill. Oh well. That's what vaccum's are for.
Today I am puffy and bloated, and ashamed in myself because I was too lazy to go to a different gas station to get my Select 55 on Friday, so I ended up getting 95 calorie Michelob Ultra, and drinking almost the whole 12 pack by the end of the night. Granite, we were partying for almost 9 hours, but nonetheless, that's gross. At least when I drink Select 55, I don't feel as bad if I drink a lot of them. I'd have to drink a 24 pack of those, to equal the amount of calories I drank, drinking 11 Ultra's. Makes me feel fatter just thinking it. Not to mention that we'd eaten take out for almost 4 days straight for every meal because I didn't have a chance to grocery shop and we threw away most of our food (most of it was old or not worth salvaging). I try to convince myself that I worked out a lot while moving, but I can't convince myself hard enough that it was effective. I haven't been sleeping good either, all the moving and cleaning has really been taking an effect on my arms, so I've been tossing around at night, unable to get comfortable because my shoulders are hurting. Oh well, that'll pass.
Well the day is almost over, and I'm not looking forward to my Aldi's trip...I wish Berkots and Aldi's would switch places, or prices, or something.
Good day.
Well we are all moved into our new house. That was the most exhausting 5 days I've had since Phish Fest 8 in California, and that includes the 62 hours we drove in 4 days, and the 10 or so miles we walked in the scorching hot sun in sandals in 2 days. By the way, we are flying everywhere from now on.
Wednesday, Ben closed at 3 pm, and we were out of there by 4 and started getting our stuff out. We thought it would be a decently easy move since "we don't have that much stuff"...wrong! We have a lot of stuff! Everytime we thought we were done, we'd open a cabinet or turn a corner and there'd be a pile of stuff somewhere. What ticked me off, is I went back to get the cat Wednesday night and my landlord was there hangin' around. I was sweaty, smelly, and running up and down the stairs like a crazy person trying to load one last load (and a furry, retarded cat) into my car, and she came up and pretty much let herself in, and was poking around, asking me if I left the keys for her and what not. I'm trying my best not to be rude, but seriously, was she blind? There was stuff still sitting all over the counters, the fridge had not been emptied, obviously nothing had been cleaned yet...I mean really? Plus, I'd talked to her the day before and she said, "We're going on vacation anyway, so take until Monday and just get everything taken care of, no big rush!' But here she was, 3 hours after we closed, badgering me about where the keys were? So finally, I think she got the hint and left. So I rounded up the little werewolf and went home for the night.
Thursday we went back over and cleaned the place, not very well, but enough. We just wanted to start organizing our new place, and get the hell out of that apartment, so we did a half assed job. We didn't break or ruin anything while we were there, so all the dirtiness was just natural, over time, build up. Just little things, that I'm sure our landlord will deduct out of Ben's security deposit somehow. We mopped, vaccumed, wiped down all the cabinets and scrubbed the fridge out, and that's about it. The landlord decided to come back with her husband and bother us some more, and he even had the nerve to tell us not to throw our garbage in the dumpster. Uh, ok, so are we supposed to throw it? Load it in our cars and take it to our new place? I don't think so...So they left and we threw all of our garbage in the dumpster.We finished that up at about 12, then went to Menards to get garbage cans, and other odds and ends, then to Lonestar, then back home to clean some more. We got all the kitchen stuff put away, and I worked my ass off, scrubbing and mopping and organizing, did 4 loads of laundry, vaccumed, dishes...ugh. I finished at about 8 pm, and practically collapsed onto the couch. Friday we had a party, of course, we had to break in the new place, but 3 hours after guests arrived, our old, pastel blue 70's toilet stopped flushing. So we were forced to go up and down the stairs for the past 2 days to use the upstairs bathroom. Ben replaced the toilet, so now we have a pretty white porcelain one, that certainly makes the bathroom look better. Except, now we have a blue toilet sitting on our back porch, because garbage pick up isn't until Wednesday. What our neighbors must think...
By the way, my landlord texted me at 7:45 Friday morning and asked us if were done yet. I wanted to write back, "LAY OFF LADY!" But I didn't. Why do you tell us you'll give us until Monday, when it actuality you are only giving us a day. Did I mention they were going on vacation? Oh, and Ben won't get his security deposit back until they get back, which is April 12th. But she's giving us a hard time and hurrying us. Rediculous.
Sunday we ate a lot of food for Easter, and I whined about a giant misquito bite that I'd scratched to the point of bleeding, all day. I feared I was getting gangrene, and my foot would soon need amputation. It's better today though...infact, I scratched another one on the back of my leg, and caused that to bleed as well. I'm just a misquito bitten mess...come to think of it, they could be manbug (ladybugs) bites too because we have been overridden with them invading our home. What is with those things? They swarm in corners and windows, die for 3 weeks, and then suddenly come back to life. I was sitting in our upstairs bathroom, and I noticed 3 on the floor. I thought to myself, "I bet you that at least 1 or 2 of those are still alive, and will soon be migrating to another part of the house soon..." A few days later, I was up there again, and 2 of them were gone, one had been smashed. I was sitting at work one day too (ironically, in the bathroom again), and there was one on the window sill. It was there for a solid 3 weeks at least...I am not exaggerating. And I know I'm not exaggerating because for those 3 weeks, I go in there and laugh to myself because nobody had bothered to get a tissue and throw it away, including me. One day, I was sitting there, and saw something moving out of the corner of my eye, I turned, and low and behold, the 3 week, supposedly dead manbug started moving and trying to get up. I couldn't believe my eyes. I just sat there and stared at it for what seemed like hours. Finally I picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. I was convinced there is only two ways to kill a manbug. You have to drown or burn them, otherwise, they just keep coming back. You squish one in a tissue, throw in the garbage, and a few days later it'll be crawling outta there, broken and battered, but determined to crawl on one more surface. Preferably your clean dishes drying in the sink, or something of that nature. I did a little research on them, as I was curious to know why they come back to life after 2 or 3 weeks, and I couldn't find anything on it. The information I found said that they hibernate in the winter, but not for 3 weeks on a window sill. Oh well. That's what vaccum's are for.
Today I am puffy and bloated, and ashamed in myself because I was too lazy to go to a different gas station to get my Select 55 on Friday, so I ended up getting 95 calorie Michelob Ultra, and drinking almost the whole 12 pack by the end of the night. Granite, we were partying for almost 9 hours, but nonetheless, that's gross. At least when I drink Select 55, I don't feel as bad if I drink a lot of them. I'd have to drink a 24 pack of those, to equal the amount of calories I drank, drinking 11 Ultra's. Makes me feel fatter just thinking it. Not to mention that we'd eaten take out for almost 4 days straight for every meal because I didn't have a chance to grocery shop and we threw away most of our food (most of it was old or not worth salvaging). I try to convince myself that I worked out a lot while moving, but I can't convince myself hard enough that it was effective. I haven't been sleeping good either, all the moving and cleaning has really been taking an effect on my arms, so I've been tossing around at night, unable to get comfortable because my shoulders are hurting. Oh well, that'll pass.
Well the day is almost over, and I'm not looking forward to my Aldi's trip...I wish Berkots and Aldi's would switch places, or prices, or something.
Good day.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
My original Friday post, that was rudely interrupted...
Well, what a nice day! I went to the gym again this morning, discovered I've lost 2 more pounds, which makes a total of about 8 now. But my weight seems to be steadily falling now though...Could it be that the weight is starting to fall off? Because yesterday morning I weighed myself and I'd lost 2...which makes a total of 4 in a week...2 days actually. I honestly think it's because I stopped eating Scamway and have been eating grilled chicken salads all week with a few teaspoons of 60 calorie, no fat dressing and a whole buttload of vegetables, frozen fruit and nuts. I've also been drinking so much water I feel like a water balloon. Aside from the carb and calorie loaded Scamway I stopped eating, I virtually eat no bread at all. I mean seriously, it's about time something happened to my benefit. You know you're losing weight when your yoga pants start getting loose on you.
So Ben finally texted me at lunch today with good news! We should be closing on the house on Wednesday, March 31st. This better happen because I'm sacrificing 2 days of work for this move, and I also worked it out with the landlord that rent will not be an issue so long as we are out within a reasonable time (the following Monday, which we surely will be if the closing goes as scheduled). I also have to clean up the apartment which won't be fun, but I've been keeping the place clean, so it shouldn't be that bad.
So a few little updates...
Poster is no longer trying to get into cabinets and closets, but instead has taken on the new habit of going directly under where I lay in bed, and scratch the wall. It doesn't make a noise as if a human was scratching a painted wall, but more that of a furry asswipe creature with werewolf talons scratching a chalkboard. That little stunt, as well a few others, are his new way of waking Ben and I up at 4 in the morning, on the dot, every morning.
One of his others is going into the spare bedroom where we keep various junk, and also a lot of old boxes that we've been saving over the year for our expected move. For some reason, he will paw at the largest one, which makes a loud scraping noise. Take your hand, put it on the nearest surface and slide your hand along it, but lightly. Repeat between hands. This is what it sounds like, except 3 times louder and for 15 minutes straight without stopping on a large cardboard box. Atleast, we think it's a cardboard box. Everytime one of us finally can't take it anymore, we get up to spray him (a water bottle is always necessary with this cat), and he's already bolting to hide behind the couch. We've never actually caught him pawing the box to death, but that's what it sounds like. I'm not going to lie, he's an extremely smart cat. I'd like to pride myself in thinking that he's smarter then your average cat, but this is not automatically a good thing.
For example, this morning, before he started box pawing, he was playing with a hair tie in our doorway. He likes to find small trinkets laying around (he prefers things that make noise of course, beer bottle caps are his favorite), and bring them directly into our doorway and play with them. Ben was gone for work already, and Poster had not yet settled down from his 4 a.m. recess. I was just about to doze back off when he brought the hair tie into our doorway and was rolling around with it mercilessly, every so often, rolling into the wall, and scraping his dragon dagger nails into the lenolium, basically making a lot of unnecessary ruckus. I finally got up, and took his hair tie from him, and laid back down. I swear to you, I am not making this up, before I even had a chance to close my eyes, he was under the bed, scratching the wall. My first thought was that I was hearing things, but I wasn't. He was getting revenge on me for taking his beloved toy.
Since of course, he is always out of arms length when I reach under the bed to drag him out, I had to get up, again, and go into the front room, knowing he'd follow me. But it didn't work. He was sitting under the bed, green eyes glowing with glee at my obvious anger. So I lured him out by pretending to give him a treat, but then just locked him out. He is seriously like a kid. I love him dearly, but he pisses me off a lot too.
Well I'm out. Have an awesome day.
So Ben finally texted me at lunch today with good news! We should be closing on the house on Wednesday, March 31st. This better happen because I'm sacrificing 2 days of work for this move, and I also worked it out with the landlord that rent will not be an issue so long as we are out within a reasonable time (the following Monday, which we surely will be if the closing goes as scheduled). I also have to clean up the apartment which won't be fun, but I've been keeping the place clean, so it shouldn't be that bad.
So a few little updates...
Poster is no longer trying to get into cabinets and closets, but instead has taken on the new habit of going directly under where I lay in bed, and scratch the wall. It doesn't make a noise as if a human was scratching a painted wall, but more that of a furry asswipe creature with werewolf talons scratching a chalkboard. That little stunt, as well a few others, are his new way of waking Ben and I up at 4 in the morning, on the dot, every morning.
One of his others is going into the spare bedroom where we keep various junk, and also a lot of old boxes that we've been saving over the year for our expected move. For some reason, he will paw at the largest one, which makes a loud scraping noise. Take your hand, put it on the nearest surface and slide your hand along it, but lightly. Repeat between hands. This is what it sounds like, except 3 times louder and for 15 minutes straight without stopping on a large cardboard box. Atleast, we think it's a cardboard box. Everytime one of us finally can't take it anymore, we get up to spray him (a water bottle is always necessary with this cat), and he's already bolting to hide behind the couch. We've never actually caught him pawing the box to death, but that's what it sounds like. I'm not going to lie, he's an extremely smart cat. I'd like to pride myself in thinking that he's smarter then your average cat, but this is not automatically a good thing.
For example, this morning, before he started box pawing, he was playing with a hair tie in our doorway. He likes to find small trinkets laying around (he prefers things that make noise of course, beer bottle caps are his favorite), and bring them directly into our doorway and play with them. Ben was gone for work already, and Poster had not yet settled down from his 4 a.m. recess. I was just about to doze back off when he brought the hair tie into our doorway and was rolling around with it mercilessly, every so often, rolling into the wall, and scraping his dragon dagger nails into the lenolium, basically making a lot of unnecessary ruckus. I finally got up, and took his hair tie from him, and laid back down. I swear to you, I am not making this up, before I even had a chance to close my eyes, he was under the bed, scratching the wall. My first thought was that I was hearing things, but I wasn't. He was getting revenge on me for taking his beloved toy.
Since of course, he is always out of arms length when I reach under the bed to drag him out, I had to get up, again, and go into the front room, knowing he'd follow me. But it didn't work. He was sitting under the bed, green eyes glowing with glee at my obvious anger. So I lured him out by pretending to give him a treat, but then just locked him out. He is seriously like a kid. I love him dearly, but he pisses me off a lot too.
Well I'm out. Have an awesome day.
Slightly better?
Guess what I did today?
I got up at 6:15, got ready, and went to the gym for an hour before work. I LOVED it. There was nobody there except an older couple and their trainer. A vivacious older woman with a lot of pep in her step. The old man was an adorably sweet old guy, who said to me as I was leaving, "You have a great day today!'. That made me happy.
So Brenda, our mortgage broker still hasn't gotten back to us with any good news yet. I called her today and she said that USDA or (HUD) or whatever the hell you want to call them, messed up some of Ben's paperwork, and they are correcting it. How typical. Of course we are really under a lot of pressure right now as far as time, and they are messing up paperwork. Get with it, you idiots.
It's now 10 to 5 and I have not received a text from Ben with good news, nor a call from Brenda with good news. When I talked to Ben earlier, he said to me, "I'm about to tell them to take this house, shove it up their asses, and get (bleeped)". Which made me laugh a little, but I am just as frustrated as he is. This whole thing is really messing with our time, and feelings. Since last Friday we have been let down over and over and flooded with dissapointment. We just feel so belittled by some persons we can't even see. Who are these jags? We haven't even started to pack because we're both starting to feel hopeless. Like we've been dangling an enourmous worm on a line for a month without a bite. Everytime we feel a wiggle, it stops. That was a gay analogy. My mind is a little clouded with pain right now, so I'm gonna call it a day.
Have an awesome day everyone.
Oh yeah, and I lost 2 pounds.
I got up at 6:15, got ready, and went to the gym for an hour before work. I LOVED it. There was nobody there except an older couple and their trainer. A vivacious older woman with a lot of pep in her step. The old man was an adorably sweet old guy, who said to me as I was leaving, "You have a great day today!'. That made me happy.
So Brenda, our mortgage broker still hasn't gotten back to us with any good news yet. I called her today and she said that USDA or (HUD) or whatever the hell you want to call them, messed up some of Ben's paperwork, and they are correcting it. How typical. Of course we are really under a lot of pressure right now as far as time, and they are messing up paperwork. Get with it, you idiots.
It's now 10 to 5 and I have not received a text from Ben with good news, nor a call from Brenda with good news. When I talked to Ben earlier, he said to me, "I'm about to tell them to take this house, shove it up their asses, and get (bleeped)". Which made me laugh a little, but I am just as frustrated as he is. This whole thing is really messing with our time, and feelings. Since last Friday we have been let down over and over and flooded with dissapointment. We just feel so belittled by some persons we can't even see. Who are these jags? We haven't even started to pack because we're both starting to feel hopeless. Like we've been dangling an enourmous worm on a line for a month without a bite. Everytime we feel a wiggle, it stops. That was a gay analogy. My mind is a little clouded with pain right now, so I'm gonna call it a day.
Have an awesome day everyone.
Oh yeah, and I lost 2 pounds.
Angry Post
Well I'm very irritated today. The mortgage brokers and our realtor were almost certain we'd close on March 19th. But then, that fell through, so an extension was made for another week. It is now Wednesday, March 24th. I called the mortgage company this morning, and they got Ben's file back from HUD (Department of Housing and Urban Development), and now there's some little paperwork errors that need to be fixed, sent back to HUD and reveiwed, once again. The already had an extenstion last week to get paperwork, and now they need more time just to fix a few little things? Seriously...what the hell!?
We are really pressing time here! We don't have another week. This is rediculous. We need to get out of our apartment by April 1st to avoid paying another months rent. Not to mention we would have had Friday (as I requested this day off, and then unrequested it today, I'm lucky I have an understanding boss) and Sunday to move our stuff. Saturday we have a wedding in Springfield to go too (we cancelled the hotel room for this and are passing up a night of free drinks BECAUSE WE THOUGHT WE WERE MOVING), so we only have those two days. I cannot take off 2 days of work to move, which is the appropriate amount of time I will need to get moved and get the place cleaned up! AHHHH!
I just want to punch HUD in the face right now. I don't blame the brokers or our realtor, I'm blaming HUD for being a bunch of picky little pansies...if they are checking all this stuff so throughly, why didn't they catch all of this the first time?
I also forgot my gym clothes today, I'm pretty sure my monthly 'friend' is going to show up some time today, the weather blows, my acid indigestion never goes away, etc...its just one of those awesome days. I'm seriously on the verge of bawling my eyes out with anger at this whole stupid situation. We just want to get in there, get the move overwith, and move on. But instead, we have to sit and sit and wait for that phone call.
Oh and to add a little more anger onto my already overly irritating day, I still have not lost any weight, so the Biggest Loser competition is going just swimmingly! I feel like an idiot that I've weighed in three weeks in a row and nothings happened. I mean, not even 2 pounds. They're probably thinking, 'Why did you join this competition, if you're not trying?" Well, that's the thing, imaginary gym employees in my story, I AM TRYING! I am trying, dammit. I've BEEN trying for over two months now. You tell me why nothing's happening, you see me here 3 or 4 days a week, fighting lesbians off the elliptacle and walking up the rotating stairway of hell, so you tell me!
UGH!!!!!!!!
I want to give up so bad. I'm not going too, but I want too. I'm sick of trying to be positive about something that is never going to happen. I have to work, so I can't quit my job because it requires sitting in a chair for 8 hours. Over the past few months, I've read lots of success stories but various women, young, old, obese, thick, and jiggly and they all say the same things: "I started eating better and working out 30-45 minutes a day, 3-4 days a week and lost 45 pounds in 3 months" or something of that nature. So that's roughly 15 pounds a month. So....what's my problem then? I've been eating better for almost 3 months, eating whole grains, fruits, vegetables, more salad than I can handle, besides the outrageous carb count in Scamway sandwhiches, I barely eat any bread, I watch my sodium intake, I get a very adequate amount of sleep each night, I eat a good breakfast, I've been drinking 55 calorie beer (2 nights a week), I barely drink pop anymore, I went from almost 4 cans a day to 1diet pop if any at all, I work out 45-50 minutes 3-4 days a week...WHAT IS THE PROBLEM THERE?! Yeah, on the weekends, I will get take out, or eat a little bit of junk here or there, but nothing that should be preventing me from losing ANY weight AT ALL. People keep telling me, 'Oh just give it time, it will start falling off one day..." Really? 3 months later? If I was a roast in a smoker I'd be liquified right now. If Jillian Michaels weren't alive, she'd be rolling in her grave right now!
1 1/2 hours later...
Ok, so I took a break and had some lunch, drove around and got some fresh air, and I feel slightly better.
So, nothing unusually exciting has happened to me lately. I bought a dress for the wedding on Saturday, but not a green one. I was definately budget shopping, and DEB did not have any green dresses to my liking. So I settled with a very cute black one. I was pleasantly surprised at how nice it actually looked, since me shopping for anything is always a horrible and anguishing experience. Clothes just keep shrinking and shrinking because we're all supposed to be anorexic models nowadays. Anyway, It was on clearance too for $25.00, so it left me room to buy shoes and a few other accessories, like panty-hoes. I think pantyhose are hilarious! You pull them out of the little box shaped like an egg, so it's like unhatching a little baby animal or something, and the things are so tiny you always question whether or not they are going to fit you. They always go up the leg all sleek and sexy, but then you get to your midsection and the feeling immediately goes away and quickly turns into sadness when you realize that the pantyhose will not stay comfortably on the lower abdomen. They keep sliding down, under your stomach 'pooch', and you can feel it when you walk. "These god damned pantyhose keep sliding down!"...Then they always fit your crotch weird. You feel the strangest desire to do lunges as often as possible while sporting a pair of 'hose because they are preventing your legs from moving as freely. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm always messing with the crotch area of those things when I wear them. And, it's just inevitable that if you purchase a pair of pantyhose, they are going to tread and tear and there's nothing you can do about it. They are just hilariously stupid. I've worn a total of about 5 pairs of 'hose in my life, and all were ripped in a matter of hours. I'm choosing to wear them for the wedding on Saturday because my pasty, jet puffed legs, are white as marshmellows. That's what I look like, the Stay Puffed Marshmellow man from Ghostbusters.
Hopefully the wedding will be fun though for the short time that we will be there. We had Ben's mom cancel our hotel room because we thought we were going to have to rush back that night and hit the hay so we could get up bright and early and finish moving and cleaning on Sunday, but to no avail. Thanks again, HUD, for your picky and finicky bull that is causing us so much stress. You'd think we were moving into a castle the way they are handling things.
Hopefully this will all work out soon, so I can stop posting angry posts.
Have a good day all.
We are really pressing time here! We don't have another week. This is rediculous. We need to get out of our apartment by April 1st to avoid paying another months rent. Not to mention we would have had Friday (as I requested this day off, and then unrequested it today, I'm lucky I have an understanding boss) and Sunday to move our stuff. Saturday we have a wedding in Springfield to go too (we cancelled the hotel room for this and are passing up a night of free drinks BECAUSE WE THOUGHT WE WERE MOVING), so we only have those two days. I cannot take off 2 days of work to move, which is the appropriate amount of time I will need to get moved and get the place cleaned up! AHHHH!
I just want to punch HUD in the face right now. I don't blame the brokers or our realtor, I'm blaming HUD for being a bunch of picky little pansies...if they are checking all this stuff so throughly, why didn't they catch all of this the first time?
I also forgot my gym clothes today, I'm pretty sure my monthly 'friend' is going to show up some time today, the weather blows, my acid indigestion never goes away, etc...its just one of those awesome days. I'm seriously on the verge of bawling my eyes out with anger at this whole stupid situation. We just want to get in there, get the move overwith, and move on. But instead, we have to sit and sit and wait for that phone call.
Oh and to add a little more anger onto my already overly irritating day, I still have not lost any weight, so the Biggest Loser competition is going just swimmingly! I feel like an idiot that I've weighed in three weeks in a row and nothings happened. I mean, not even 2 pounds. They're probably thinking, 'Why did you join this competition, if you're not trying?" Well, that's the thing, imaginary gym employees in my story, I AM TRYING! I am trying, dammit. I've BEEN trying for over two months now. You tell me why nothing's happening, you see me here 3 or 4 days a week, fighting lesbians off the elliptacle and walking up the rotating stairway of hell, so you tell me!
UGH!!!!!!!!
I want to give up so bad. I'm not going too, but I want too. I'm sick of trying to be positive about something that is never going to happen. I have to work, so I can't quit my job because it requires sitting in a chair for 8 hours. Over the past few months, I've read lots of success stories but various women, young, old, obese, thick, and jiggly and they all say the same things: "I started eating better and working out 30-45 minutes a day, 3-4 days a week and lost 45 pounds in 3 months" or something of that nature. So that's roughly 15 pounds a month. So....what's my problem then? I've been eating better for almost 3 months, eating whole grains, fruits, vegetables, more salad than I can handle, besides the outrageous carb count in Scamway sandwhiches, I barely eat any bread, I watch my sodium intake, I get a very adequate amount of sleep each night, I eat a good breakfast, I've been drinking 55 calorie beer (2 nights a week), I barely drink pop anymore, I went from almost 4 cans a day to 1diet pop if any at all, I work out 45-50 minutes 3-4 days a week...WHAT IS THE PROBLEM THERE?! Yeah, on the weekends, I will get take out, or eat a little bit of junk here or there, but nothing that should be preventing me from losing ANY weight AT ALL. People keep telling me, 'Oh just give it time, it will start falling off one day..." Really? 3 months later? If I was a roast in a smoker I'd be liquified right now. If Jillian Michaels weren't alive, she'd be rolling in her grave right now!
1 1/2 hours later...
Ok, so I took a break and had some lunch, drove around and got some fresh air, and I feel slightly better.
So, nothing unusually exciting has happened to me lately. I bought a dress for the wedding on Saturday, but not a green one. I was definately budget shopping, and DEB did not have any green dresses to my liking. So I settled with a very cute black one. I was pleasantly surprised at how nice it actually looked, since me shopping for anything is always a horrible and anguishing experience. Clothes just keep shrinking and shrinking because we're all supposed to be anorexic models nowadays. Anyway, It was on clearance too for $25.00, so it left me room to buy shoes and a few other accessories, like panty-hoes. I think pantyhose are hilarious! You pull them out of the little box shaped like an egg, so it's like unhatching a little baby animal or something, and the things are so tiny you always question whether or not they are going to fit you. They always go up the leg all sleek and sexy, but then you get to your midsection and the feeling immediately goes away and quickly turns into sadness when you realize that the pantyhose will not stay comfortably on the lower abdomen. They keep sliding down, under your stomach 'pooch', and you can feel it when you walk. "These god damned pantyhose keep sliding down!"...Then they always fit your crotch weird. You feel the strangest desire to do lunges as often as possible while sporting a pair of 'hose because they are preventing your legs from moving as freely. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm always messing with the crotch area of those things when I wear them. And, it's just inevitable that if you purchase a pair of pantyhose, they are going to tread and tear and there's nothing you can do about it. They are just hilariously stupid. I've worn a total of about 5 pairs of 'hose in my life, and all were ripped in a matter of hours. I'm choosing to wear them for the wedding on Saturday because my pasty, jet puffed legs, are white as marshmellows. That's what I look like, the Stay Puffed Marshmellow man from Ghostbusters.
Hopefully the wedding will be fun though for the short time that we will be there. We had Ben's mom cancel our hotel room because we thought we were going to have to rush back that night and hit the hay so we could get up bright and early and finish moving and cleaning on Sunday, but to no avail. Thanks again, HUD, for your picky and finicky bull that is causing us so much stress. You'd think we were moving into a castle the way they are handling things.
Hopefully this will all work out soon, so I can stop posting angry posts.
Have a good day all.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Subway lies.
Again, sorry for the rant yesterday. Biggest Loser.com made me feel bad about myself, so it just set me off. Last night, Ben fell asleep earlier, so I stole his phone and started messing with a calorie counter application I downloaded on it some time ago. I tried to break down all the reasons I haven't been losing the weight, and finally figured out that this whole time that I've been 'eating good', I actually have been intaking the same amount of calories if not more, then the 2000 calorie per day diet. I have a calorie journal online that I periodically check, and my goal calorie intake is about 1100 per day. I have broken up my usual diet for the past couple weeks, and the outcome was that I'm going well over 1500. So it's no wonder. The 'Light and Fit', 'Fit & Active' and 'Weight Watchers' labels can be deceiving.
Also, I've been eating Subway for lunch and dinner pretty much every day for the past two weeks (6" for lunch and the other half for dinner). But something occured to me last night while messing with the calorie counter add on Ben's phone...when the Subway commercials say that 'There's only 250 calories in this sandwhich! YAY!' They are not counting, the cheese, bread or condiments. They are basically just giving you the meat. I will break it down for you...
6" Bread: Honey Oat-250 calories, 48 carbs, 3.5g fat
Ham: 60 calories per slice (about 3 slices on a 6")
Turkey: 50 calories per slice (about 3 slices on a 6")
Light Mayo: 50 calories per tsp (so about 6 tsp per 6"), 1.5g fat
Mustard: 5cal per tsp (about 6 tsp per 6")
Provolone: 2 half circles are 1.5g fat, 50 calories (2 per 6")
And that is usually what I get on mine, with spinach, cucumber, and that's it. So lets see, that's, 970 calories and 6.5 grams of fat. For a 6 inch. Now, if I eat the other half for dinner that's almost 1940 calories, not to mention the carbs in that. And the wheat bread is no better, the wheat bread is 200 calories.
See for yourself...
So that's how they get ya. I do agree that is it healthier than eating a Big Mac, except the Big Mac actually has less calories at 540 but 29g of fat. The worse thing to get at McDonalds is the Deluxe breakfast at a whopping 1090 calories and 56 grams of fat. Oh, and the milk shakes, 1110 calories for a vanilla, and about the same for the other two (Sorry dad).
So I think I deciphered why I have not been dropping the weight. I have had a very mislead diet hidden behind 'weight loss' labels. So I'm gonna start cooking up some more chicken breasts and making big salads instead of worrying about getting Scamway.
I'm not giving up yet world. Where there is a will, there is a way.
I also have to stop getting take out. Those Saturday night rendezvous at the Skillet and Hamada and wherever else are not doing me justice.
So a few little updates...
Crazy is still at it. I have not talked to her since the day before the meeting 3 weeks ago, and I don't intend on talking to her. It did not dawn on me how crazy she actually was until her little plans started unfolding. I truly believe that she is trying to get us all fired. I'm not sure what her motive is, or what she plans on doing if we all got fired, but she's got something brewing up there. I think that she has this huge, epic and ultimate plan that will bring all her little plans together one day, and when they do, she's going to put on quite a show. She has no regret for what she did. In fact, she's pretending it didn't happen and acting as though we are all the ones with the problem. She is constantly doing things to make us not like her, snapping at everyone, slamming her phone after every call, stomping around, slamming drawers, oh yeah, and did I mention sending fake e-mails to management about facebook, getting us all in trouble and nearly fired, and not even because f facebook, but because of the drama she's causing...but then gets all riled up when one of us isn't giving her attention. It's so weird...it's like...she does all these things that no normal person would enjoy, but then wants us all to cherish and respect her as a co-worker. Either that or she wants us all to feel sorry for her and give her attention, but we stopped caring a long time ago, so what does she want from us? I just don't get it. It's definately a head scratcher.
We've all been in a good mood today (except for Crazy of course, her being in a good mood should be considered a very rare event. Like the solar eclipse.) So, she's been slamming her phone, yelling at every one that calls, permanantly frowning, things like that. So my co-workers and I have just been laughing at her, and the more we laugh, the more angry she gets. She doesn't nessecarily know we are laughing at her, but I'm sure she's figured it out. I came up with the idea that we should just start spraying her water when she gets out of line, but I'm not sure how spraying crazy people would work out. There could be a number of strange things that happen in an event like that, but who knows.
Oh and one more thing I hate...when people put little stupid flags on there cars. Not flag stickers, but flags. Those little ones that snap into your side windows and flutter around all gay. I just saw an old guy drive over the Monee Manahattan overpass, he had a little golfers cap on, and I assume the typical beige rain guard jacket, with grey slacks and orthopedic foot clubs (shoes) with the velcro. I'm sure he wasn't going anywhere, he was probably just taking a little cruise with his pea sized wife, with her drawn orange eyebrows, and doily. I'm not sure why an old lady with orange eyebrows would be carrying a doily around, but when I picture an old woman, for the longest time, I've thought of doilies. So the woman in my story, is carrying a doily.
Also, I've been eating Subway for lunch and dinner pretty much every day for the past two weeks (6" for lunch and the other half for dinner). But something occured to me last night while messing with the calorie counter add on Ben's phone...when the Subway commercials say that 'There's only 250 calories in this sandwhich! YAY!' They are not counting, the cheese, bread or condiments. They are basically just giving you the meat. I will break it down for you...
6" Bread: Honey Oat-250 calories, 48 carbs, 3.5g fat
Ham: 60 calories per slice (about 3 slices on a 6")
Turkey: 50 calories per slice (about 3 slices on a 6")
Light Mayo: 50 calories per tsp (so about 6 tsp per 6"), 1.5g fat
Mustard: 5cal per tsp (about 6 tsp per 6")
Provolone: 2 half circles are 1.5g fat, 50 calories (2 per 6")
And that is usually what I get on mine, with spinach, cucumber, and that's it. So lets see, that's, 970 calories and 6.5 grams of fat. For a 6 inch. Now, if I eat the other half for dinner that's almost 1940 calories, not to mention the carbs in that. And the wheat bread is no better, the wheat bread is 200 calories.
See for yourself...
So that's how they get ya. I do agree that is it healthier than eating a Big Mac, except the Big Mac actually has less calories at 540 but 29g of fat. The worse thing to get at McDonalds is the Deluxe breakfast at a whopping 1090 calories and 56 grams of fat. Oh, and the milk shakes, 1110 calories for a vanilla, and about the same for the other two (Sorry dad).
So I think I deciphered why I have not been dropping the weight. I have had a very mislead diet hidden behind 'weight loss' labels. So I'm gonna start cooking up some more chicken breasts and making big salads instead of worrying about getting Scamway.
I'm not giving up yet world. Where there is a will, there is a way.
I also have to stop getting take out. Those Saturday night rendezvous at the Skillet and Hamada and wherever else are not doing me justice.
So a few little updates...
Crazy is still at it. I have not talked to her since the day before the meeting 3 weeks ago, and I don't intend on talking to her. It did not dawn on me how crazy she actually was until her little plans started unfolding. I truly believe that she is trying to get us all fired. I'm not sure what her motive is, or what she plans on doing if we all got fired, but she's got something brewing up there. I think that she has this huge, epic and ultimate plan that will bring all her little plans together one day, and when they do, she's going to put on quite a show. She has no regret for what she did. In fact, she's pretending it didn't happen and acting as though we are all the ones with the problem. She is constantly doing things to make us not like her, snapping at everyone, slamming her phone after every call, stomping around, slamming drawers, oh yeah, and did I mention sending fake e-mails to management about facebook, getting us all in trouble and nearly fired, and not even because f facebook, but because of the drama she's causing...but then gets all riled up when one of us isn't giving her attention. It's so weird...it's like...she does all these things that no normal person would enjoy, but then wants us all to cherish and respect her as a co-worker. Either that or she wants us all to feel sorry for her and give her attention, but we stopped caring a long time ago, so what does she want from us? I just don't get it. It's definately a head scratcher.
We've all been in a good mood today (except for Crazy of course, her being in a good mood should be considered a very rare event. Like the solar eclipse.) So, she's been slamming her phone, yelling at every one that calls, permanantly frowning, things like that. So my co-workers and I have just been laughing at her, and the more we laugh, the more angry she gets. She doesn't nessecarily know we are laughing at her, but I'm sure she's figured it out. I came up with the idea that we should just start spraying her water when she gets out of line, but I'm not sure how spraying crazy people would work out. There could be a number of strange things that happen in an event like that, but who knows.
Oh and one more thing I hate...when people put little stupid flags on there cars. Not flag stickers, but flags. Those little ones that snap into your side windows and flutter around all gay. I just saw an old guy drive over the Monee Manahattan overpass, he had a little golfers cap on, and I assume the typical beige rain guard jacket, with grey slacks and orthopedic foot clubs (shoes) with the velcro. I'm sure he wasn't going anywhere, he was probably just taking a little cruise with his pea sized wife, with her drawn orange eyebrows, and doily. I'm not sure why an old lady with orange eyebrows would be carrying a doily around, but when I picture an old woman, for the longest time, I've thought of doilies. So the woman in my story, is carrying a doily.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Help me Jillian Michaels
I'm serious, as of today, I am done pittling around with this weight thing. Why is nothing happening yet?!? I must be doing something wrong! BUT WHAT IS IT?!?! Ahh! So I'm just going to have to work that much harder and get over my dumb little dislikings for treadmills and what not. I've been at this for over two months now and NOTHING has happened! I have lost a few pounds give or take, but I thought by now I'd at least lost a pant size...but no. For a couple days, I thought that my clothes were fitting looser, but I kid you not, I think they've gotten tighter. This is so frustrating, I could just cry right now. I'm just going to come out and say it, I hate the way I look. HATE it. I have a disgusting ripply body that I'm ashamed of, and I'm so mad at myself for letting it get this way. I'm also sick of trying so hard at something that isn't even working. I take back what I said, I think my body is made up of some other weird anatomy because working out for two months and eating right and having nothing happen is unheard of.
I've also been playing with the fact that maybe I'm mentally not letting the weight go. I swear I can give myself the flu by just thinking about it, so maybe I'm stressing myself out so much trying to lose it that I'm just keeping the weight on. Stress makes you gain weight right? I just don't even know anymore. Between this and my constant acid indigestion, I've just had it! I could yell out a whole bunch of profanity and words starting with F right now, but I won't. I'll just think them.
I swear that over the next two months or so, I AM going to get this weight off. I think the acid indigestion is caused by the weight, so I can solve two problems in one. I mean come on, 50 year old women on Biggest Loser can lose it, then so can I dammit!
OK. Had to get that out.
But I'm serious. I can't take it anymore. I hate going into a store and seeing cute shirts that I have to pass up, and dreading buying a bathing suit every summer, and being humiliated going out in it. The phrase, 'Pool Party' gives me seizures. I'm just done living like that. I want to throw on a cute tank top and a skirt this summer and not have to hide it under layers of shirts and pants that took me 4 hours to find. It seriously makes me so sad. I remember my grandpa told me a few years ago, "Just remember, there's a skinny girl in there somewhere". Yeah I was pretty upset by that, but he was right. And my Aunt who was obese for a few years, but is now a double 00, shoving weightwatchers in my face, while the other Aunt chimed in for a drunk banter about my joining, in front of Ben nonetheless, who at the time, was a fresh boyfriend of 2 months. That's not really something you want your two lush anorexically skinny aunts' pointing out in front of your new boyfriend.
He just gave me a hug when we left, and I was crying, and told me not to listen to them. That was night he decided he did not like Aunt Sarah, since her opinions always matter so much more when she's drunk. If we don't stop what we are doing to go to do whatever it is she suggests, she will stare at you, with her lips pursed in a kissy formation, and give you an evil eye while applying scoop after scoop of lipgloss.
Sigh...well I know ranting about it doesn't do me any good, but my butt is stuck in this chair 8 hours out of the day, so I can't express my anger physically (by working out, not punching things like I feel like doing sometimes). This is one of the reasons I miss waitressing. We went to the bar last night to celebrate St. Patty's day for a little bit, and I was periodically glancing at the bartender. I was jealous of her. She was a little spanish chiquita, cute as a button, running around the bar. Her shift ended at 6 I guess, because the new bartender, Sue, a good hearted older women with a rugged biker look to her, came in to relieve her. I was jealous of both of them. I saw the spanish girl counting out her tips, and I longed so badly to do that again. I hate sitting here, day after day, staring out the window, talking to little assonine, rich, med students. I know I haven't worked there in almost 4 years, but I miss B-dubs. I miss it so very badly. I know if I ever tried to go back it wouldn't be the same. All my friends are gone, all the managers are different, but I still have my memories. I know it sounds stupid, but that place was more then just a dumb old waitressing job to me. I had made a countless amount of friends there, a family, a home away from home. I had as much fun working at that place then I did my sophomore year of highschool, which was by far the best year. There were so many kinds of different people there, so many different places to hang out, it was just great.
I know everything happens for a reason, and had it not, I wouldn't be where I am now. All I need to do now is get this weight off, so I can hopefully be content and make peace with myself.
I am my own worst friend.
I've also been playing with the fact that maybe I'm mentally not letting the weight go. I swear I can give myself the flu by just thinking about it, so maybe I'm stressing myself out so much trying to lose it that I'm just keeping the weight on. Stress makes you gain weight right? I just don't even know anymore. Between this and my constant acid indigestion, I've just had it! I could yell out a whole bunch of profanity and words starting with F right now, but I won't. I'll just think them.
I swear that over the next two months or so, I AM going to get this weight off. I think the acid indigestion is caused by the weight, so I can solve two problems in one. I mean come on, 50 year old women on Biggest Loser can lose it, then so can I dammit!
OK. Had to get that out.
But I'm serious. I can't take it anymore. I hate going into a store and seeing cute shirts that I have to pass up, and dreading buying a bathing suit every summer, and being humiliated going out in it. The phrase, 'Pool Party' gives me seizures. I'm just done living like that. I want to throw on a cute tank top and a skirt this summer and not have to hide it under layers of shirts and pants that took me 4 hours to find. It seriously makes me so sad. I remember my grandpa told me a few years ago, "Just remember, there's a skinny girl in there somewhere". Yeah I was pretty upset by that, but he was right. And my Aunt who was obese for a few years, but is now a double 00, shoving weightwatchers in my face, while the other Aunt chimed in for a drunk banter about my joining, in front of Ben nonetheless, who at the time, was a fresh boyfriend of 2 months. That's not really something you want your two lush anorexically skinny aunts' pointing out in front of your new boyfriend.
He just gave me a hug when we left, and I was crying, and told me not to listen to them. That was night he decided he did not like Aunt Sarah, since her opinions always matter so much more when she's drunk. If we don't stop what we are doing to go to do whatever it is she suggests, she will stare at you, with her lips pursed in a kissy formation, and give you an evil eye while applying scoop after scoop of lipgloss.
Sigh...well I know ranting about it doesn't do me any good, but my butt is stuck in this chair 8 hours out of the day, so I can't express my anger physically (by working out, not punching things like I feel like doing sometimes). This is one of the reasons I miss waitressing. We went to the bar last night to celebrate St. Patty's day for a little bit, and I was periodically glancing at the bartender. I was jealous of her. She was a little spanish chiquita, cute as a button, running around the bar. Her shift ended at 6 I guess, because the new bartender, Sue, a good hearted older women with a rugged biker look to her, came in to relieve her. I was jealous of both of them. I saw the spanish girl counting out her tips, and I longed so badly to do that again. I hate sitting here, day after day, staring out the window, talking to little assonine, rich, med students. I know I haven't worked there in almost 4 years, but I miss B-dubs. I miss it so very badly. I know if I ever tried to go back it wouldn't be the same. All my friends are gone, all the managers are different, but I still have my memories. I know it sounds stupid, but that place was more then just a dumb old waitressing job to me. I had made a countless amount of friends there, a family, a home away from home. I had as much fun working at that place then I did my sophomore year of highschool, which was by far the best year. There were so many kinds of different people there, so many different places to hang out, it was just great.
I know everything happens for a reason, and had it not, I wouldn't be where I am now. All I need to do now is get this weight off, so I can hopefully be content and make peace with myself.
I am my own worst friend.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)