Well, what a nice day! I went to the gym again this morning, discovered I've lost 2 more pounds, which makes a total of about 8 now. But my weight seems to be steadily falling now though...Could it be that the weight is starting to fall off? Because yesterday morning I weighed myself and I'd lost 2...which makes a total of 4 in a week...2 days actually. I honestly think it's because I stopped eating Scamway and have been eating grilled chicken salads all week with a few teaspoons of 60 calorie, no fat dressing and a whole buttload of vegetables, frozen fruit and nuts. I've also been drinking so much water I feel like a water balloon. Aside from the carb and calorie loaded Scamway I stopped eating, I virtually eat no bread at all. I mean seriously, it's about time something happened to my benefit. You know you're losing weight when your yoga pants start getting loose on you.
So Ben finally texted me at lunch today with good news! We should be closing on the house on Wednesday, March 31st. This better happen because I'm sacrificing 2 days of work for this move, and I also worked it out with the landlord that rent will not be an issue so long as we are out within a reasonable time (the following Monday, which we surely will be if the closing goes as scheduled). I also have to clean up the apartment which won't be fun, but I've been keeping the place clean, so it shouldn't be that bad.
So a few little updates...
Poster is no longer trying to get into cabinets and closets, but instead has taken on the new habit of going directly under where I lay in bed, and scratch the wall. It doesn't make a noise as if a human was scratching a painted wall, but more that of a furry asswipe creature with werewolf talons scratching a chalkboard. That little stunt, as well a few others, are his new way of waking Ben and I up at 4 in the morning, on the dot, every morning.
One of his others is going into the spare bedroom where we keep various junk, and also a lot of old boxes that we've been saving over the year for our expected move. For some reason, he will paw at the largest one, which makes a loud scraping noise. Take your hand, put it on the nearest surface and slide your hand along it, but lightly. Repeat between hands. This is what it sounds like, except 3 times louder and for 15 minutes straight without stopping on a large cardboard box. Atleast, we think it's a cardboard box. Everytime one of us finally can't take it anymore, we get up to spray him (a water bottle is always necessary with this cat), and he's already bolting to hide behind the couch. We've never actually caught him pawing the box to death, but that's what it sounds like. I'm not going to lie, he's an extremely smart cat. I'd like to pride myself in thinking that he's smarter then your average cat, but this is not automatically a good thing.
For example, this morning, before he started box pawing, he was playing with a hair tie in our doorway. He likes to find small trinkets laying around (he prefers things that make noise of course, beer bottle caps are his favorite), and bring them directly into our doorway and play with them. Ben was gone for work already, and Poster had not yet settled down from his 4 a.m. recess. I was just about to doze back off when he brought the hair tie into our doorway and was rolling around with it mercilessly, every so often, rolling into the wall, and scraping his dragon dagger nails into the lenolium, basically making a lot of unnecessary ruckus. I finally got up, and took his hair tie from him, and laid back down. I swear to you, I am not making this up, before I even had a chance to close my eyes, he was under the bed, scratching the wall. My first thought was that I was hearing things, but I wasn't. He was getting revenge on me for taking his beloved toy.
Since of course, he is always out of arms length when I reach under the bed to drag him out, I had to get up, again, and go into the front room, knowing he'd follow me. But it didn't work. He was sitting under the bed, green eyes glowing with glee at my obvious anger. So I lured him out by pretending to give him a treat, but then just locked him out. He is seriously like a kid. I love him dearly, but he pisses me off a lot too.
Well I'm out. Have an awesome day.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Slightly better?
Guess what I did today?
I got up at 6:15, got ready, and went to the gym for an hour before work. I LOVED it. There was nobody there except an older couple and their trainer. A vivacious older woman with a lot of pep in her step. The old man was an adorably sweet old guy, who said to me as I was leaving, "You have a great day today!'. That made me happy.
So Brenda, our mortgage broker still hasn't gotten back to us with any good news yet. I called her today and she said that USDA or (HUD) or whatever the hell you want to call them, messed up some of Ben's paperwork, and they are correcting it. How typical. Of course we are really under a lot of pressure right now as far as time, and they are messing up paperwork. Get with it, you idiots.
It's now 10 to 5 and I have not received a text from Ben with good news, nor a call from Brenda with good news. When I talked to Ben earlier, he said to me, "I'm about to tell them to take this house, shove it up their asses, and get (bleeped)". Which made me laugh a little, but I am just as frustrated as he is. This whole thing is really messing with our time, and feelings. Since last Friday we have been let down over and over and flooded with dissapointment. We just feel so belittled by some persons we can't even see. Who are these jags? We haven't even started to pack because we're both starting to feel hopeless. Like we've been dangling an enourmous worm on a line for a month without a bite. Everytime we feel a wiggle, it stops. That was a gay analogy. My mind is a little clouded with pain right now, so I'm gonna call it a day.
Have an awesome day everyone.
Oh yeah, and I lost 2 pounds.
I got up at 6:15, got ready, and went to the gym for an hour before work. I LOVED it. There was nobody there except an older couple and their trainer. A vivacious older woman with a lot of pep in her step. The old man was an adorably sweet old guy, who said to me as I was leaving, "You have a great day today!'. That made me happy.
So Brenda, our mortgage broker still hasn't gotten back to us with any good news yet. I called her today and she said that USDA or (HUD) or whatever the hell you want to call them, messed up some of Ben's paperwork, and they are correcting it. How typical. Of course we are really under a lot of pressure right now as far as time, and they are messing up paperwork. Get with it, you idiots.
It's now 10 to 5 and I have not received a text from Ben with good news, nor a call from Brenda with good news. When I talked to Ben earlier, he said to me, "I'm about to tell them to take this house, shove it up their asses, and get (bleeped)". Which made me laugh a little, but I am just as frustrated as he is. This whole thing is really messing with our time, and feelings. Since last Friday we have been let down over and over and flooded with dissapointment. We just feel so belittled by some persons we can't even see. Who are these jags? We haven't even started to pack because we're both starting to feel hopeless. Like we've been dangling an enourmous worm on a line for a month without a bite. Everytime we feel a wiggle, it stops. That was a gay analogy. My mind is a little clouded with pain right now, so I'm gonna call it a day.
Have an awesome day everyone.
Oh yeah, and I lost 2 pounds.
Angry Post
Well I'm very irritated today. The mortgage brokers and our realtor were almost certain we'd close on March 19th. But then, that fell through, so an extension was made for another week. It is now Wednesday, March 24th. I called the mortgage company this morning, and they got Ben's file back from HUD (Department of Housing and Urban Development), and now there's some little paperwork errors that need to be fixed, sent back to HUD and reveiwed, once again. The already had an extenstion last week to get paperwork, and now they need more time just to fix a few little things? Seriously...what the hell!?
We are really pressing time here! We don't have another week. This is rediculous. We need to get out of our apartment by April 1st to avoid paying another months rent. Not to mention we would have had Friday (as I requested this day off, and then unrequested it today, I'm lucky I have an understanding boss) and Sunday to move our stuff. Saturday we have a wedding in Springfield to go too (we cancelled the hotel room for this and are passing up a night of free drinks BECAUSE WE THOUGHT WE WERE MOVING), so we only have those two days. I cannot take off 2 days of work to move, which is the appropriate amount of time I will need to get moved and get the place cleaned up! AHHHH!
I just want to punch HUD in the face right now. I don't blame the brokers or our realtor, I'm blaming HUD for being a bunch of picky little pansies...if they are checking all this stuff so throughly, why didn't they catch all of this the first time?
I also forgot my gym clothes today, I'm pretty sure my monthly 'friend' is going to show up some time today, the weather blows, my acid indigestion never goes away, etc...its just one of those awesome days. I'm seriously on the verge of bawling my eyes out with anger at this whole stupid situation. We just want to get in there, get the move overwith, and move on. But instead, we have to sit and sit and wait for that phone call.
Oh and to add a little more anger onto my already overly irritating day, I still have not lost any weight, so the Biggest Loser competition is going just swimmingly! I feel like an idiot that I've weighed in three weeks in a row and nothings happened. I mean, not even 2 pounds. They're probably thinking, 'Why did you join this competition, if you're not trying?" Well, that's the thing, imaginary gym employees in my story, I AM TRYING! I am trying, dammit. I've BEEN trying for over two months now. You tell me why nothing's happening, you see me here 3 or 4 days a week, fighting lesbians off the elliptacle and walking up the rotating stairway of hell, so you tell me!
UGH!!!!!!!!
I want to give up so bad. I'm not going too, but I want too. I'm sick of trying to be positive about something that is never going to happen. I have to work, so I can't quit my job because it requires sitting in a chair for 8 hours. Over the past few months, I've read lots of success stories but various women, young, old, obese, thick, and jiggly and they all say the same things: "I started eating better and working out 30-45 minutes a day, 3-4 days a week and lost 45 pounds in 3 months" or something of that nature. So that's roughly 15 pounds a month. So....what's my problem then? I've been eating better for almost 3 months, eating whole grains, fruits, vegetables, more salad than I can handle, besides the outrageous carb count in Scamway sandwhiches, I barely eat any bread, I watch my sodium intake, I get a very adequate amount of sleep each night, I eat a good breakfast, I've been drinking 55 calorie beer (2 nights a week), I barely drink pop anymore, I went from almost 4 cans a day to 1diet pop if any at all, I work out 45-50 minutes 3-4 days a week...WHAT IS THE PROBLEM THERE?! Yeah, on the weekends, I will get take out, or eat a little bit of junk here or there, but nothing that should be preventing me from losing ANY weight AT ALL. People keep telling me, 'Oh just give it time, it will start falling off one day..." Really? 3 months later? If I was a roast in a smoker I'd be liquified right now. If Jillian Michaels weren't alive, she'd be rolling in her grave right now!
1 1/2 hours later...
Ok, so I took a break and had some lunch, drove around and got some fresh air, and I feel slightly better.
So, nothing unusually exciting has happened to me lately. I bought a dress for the wedding on Saturday, but not a green one. I was definately budget shopping, and DEB did not have any green dresses to my liking. So I settled with a very cute black one. I was pleasantly surprised at how nice it actually looked, since me shopping for anything is always a horrible and anguishing experience. Clothes just keep shrinking and shrinking because we're all supposed to be anorexic models nowadays. Anyway, It was on clearance too for $25.00, so it left me room to buy shoes and a few other accessories, like panty-hoes. I think pantyhose are hilarious! You pull them out of the little box shaped like an egg, so it's like unhatching a little baby animal or something, and the things are so tiny you always question whether or not they are going to fit you. They always go up the leg all sleek and sexy, but then you get to your midsection and the feeling immediately goes away and quickly turns into sadness when you realize that the pantyhose will not stay comfortably on the lower abdomen. They keep sliding down, under your stomach 'pooch', and you can feel it when you walk. "These god damned pantyhose keep sliding down!"...Then they always fit your crotch weird. You feel the strangest desire to do lunges as often as possible while sporting a pair of 'hose because they are preventing your legs from moving as freely. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm always messing with the crotch area of those things when I wear them. And, it's just inevitable that if you purchase a pair of pantyhose, they are going to tread and tear and there's nothing you can do about it. They are just hilariously stupid. I've worn a total of about 5 pairs of 'hose in my life, and all were ripped in a matter of hours. I'm choosing to wear them for the wedding on Saturday because my pasty, jet puffed legs, are white as marshmellows. That's what I look like, the Stay Puffed Marshmellow man from Ghostbusters.
Hopefully the wedding will be fun though for the short time that we will be there. We had Ben's mom cancel our hotel room because we thought we were going to have to rush back that night and hit the hay so we could get up bright and early and finish moving and cleaning on Sunday, but to no avail. Thanks again, HUD, for your picky and finicky bull that is causing us so much stress. You'd think we were moving into a castle the way they are handling things.
Hopefully this will all work out soon, so I can stop posting angry posts.
Have a good day all.
We are really pressing time here! We don't have another week. This is rediculous. We need to get out of our apartment by April 1st to avoid paying another months rent. Not to mention we would have had Friday (as I requested this day off, and then unrequested it today, I'm lucky I have an understanding boss) and Sunday to move our stuff. Saturday we have a wedding in Springfield to go too (we cancelled the hotel room for this and are passing up a night of free drinks BECAUSE WE THOUGHT WE WERE MOVING), so we only have those two days. I cannot take off 2 days of work to move, which is the appropriate amount of time I will need to get moved and get the place cleaned up! AHHHH!
I just want to punch HUD in the face right now. I don't blame the brokers or our realtor, I'm blaming HUD for being a bunch of picky little pansies...if they are checking all this stuff so throughly, why didn't they catch all of this the first time?
I also forgot my gym clothes today, I'm pretty sure my monthly 'friend' is going to show up some time today, the weather blows, my acid indigestion never goes away, etc...its just one of those awesome days. I'm seriously on the verge of bawling my eyes out with anger at this whole stupid situation. We just want to get in there, get the move overwith, and move on. But instead, we have to sit and sit and wait for that phone call.
Oh and to add a little more anger onto my already overly irritating day, I still have not lost any weight, so the Biggest Loser competition is going just swimmingly! I feel like an idiot that I've weighed in three weeks in a row and nothings happened. I mean, not even 2 pounds. They're probably thinking, 'Why did you join this competition, if you're not trying?" Well, that's the thing, imaginary gym employees in my story, I AM TRYING! I am trying, dammit. I've BEEN trying for over two months now. You tell me why nothing's happening, you see me here 3 or 4 days a week, fighting lesbians off the elliptacle and walking up the rotating stairway of hell, so you tell me!
UGH!!!!!!!!
I want to give up so bad. I'm not going too, but I want too. I'm sick of trying to be positive about something that is never going to happen. I have to work, so I can't quit my job because it requires sitting in a chair for 8 hours. Over the past few months, I've read lots of success stories but various women, young, old, obese, thick, and jiggly and they all say the same things: "I started eating better and working out 30-45 minutes a day, 3-4 days a week and lost 45 pounds in 3 months" or something of that nature. So that's roughly 15 pounds a month. So....what's my problem then? I've been eating better for almost 3 months, eating whole grains, fruits, vegetables, more salad than I can handle, besides the outrageous carb count in Scamway sandwhiches, I barely eat any bread, I watch my sodium intake, I get a very adequate amount of sleep each night, I eat a good breakfast, I've been drinking 55 calorie beer (2 nights a week), I barely drink pop anymore, I went from almost 4 cans a day to 1diet pop if any at all, I work out 45-50 minutes 3-4 days a week...WHAT IS THE PROBLEM THERE?! Yeah, on the weekends, I will get take out, or eat a little bit of junk here or there, but nothing that should be preventing me from losing ANY weight AT ALL. People keep telling me, 'Oh just give it time, it will start falling off one day..." Really? 3 months later? If I was a roast in a smoker I'd be liquified right now. If Jillian Michaels weren't alive, she'd be rolling in her grave right now!
1 1/2 hours later...
Ok, so I took a break and had some lunch, drove around and got some fresh air, and I feel slightly better.
So, nothing unusually exciting has happened to me lately. I bought a dress for the wedding on Saturday, but not a green one. I was definately budget shopping, and DEB did not have any green dresses to my liking. So I settled with a very cute black one. I was pleasantly surprised at how nice it actually looked, since me shopping for anything is always a horrible and anguishing experience. Clothes just keep shrinking and shrinking because we're all supposed to be anorexic models nowadays. Anyway, It was on clearance too for $25.00, so it left me room to buy shoes and a few other accessories, like panty-hoes. I think pantyhose are hilarious! You pull them out of the little box shaped like an egg, so it's like unhatching a little baby animal or something, and the things are so tiny you always question whether or not they are going to fit you. They always go up the leg all sleek and sexy, but then you get to your midsection and the feeling immediately goes away and quickly turns into sadness when you realize that the pantyhose will not stay comfortably on the lower abdomen. They keep sliding down, under your stomach 'pooch', and you can feel it when you walk. "These god damned pantyhose keep sliding down!"...Then they always fit your crotch weird. You feel the strangest desire to do lunges as often as possible while sporting a pair of 'hose because they are preventing your legs from moving as freely. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm always messing with the crotch area of those things when I wear them. And, it's just inevitable that if you purchase a pair of pantyhose, they are going to tread and tear and there's nothing you can do about it. They are just hilariously stupid. I've worn a total of about 5 pairs of 'hose in my life, and all were ripped in a matter of hours. I'm choosing to wear them for the wedding on Saturday because my pasty, jet puffed legs, are white as marshmellows. That's what I look like, the Stay Puffed Marshmellow man from Ghostbusters.
Hopefully the wedding will be fun though for the short time that we will be there. We had Ben's mom cancel our hotel room because we thought we were going to have to rush back that night and hit the hay so we could get up bright and early and finish moving and cleaning on Sunday, but to no avail. Thanks again, HUD, for your picky and finicky bull that is causing us so much stress. You'd think we were moving into a castle the way they are handling things.
Hopefully this will all work out soon, so I can stop posting angry posts.
Have a good day all.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Subway lies.
Again, sorry for the rant yesterday. Biggest Loser.com made me feel bad about myself, so it just set me off. Last night, Ben fell asleep earlier, so I stole his phone and started messing with a calorie counter application I downloaded on it some time ago. I tried to break down all the reasons I haven't been losing the weight, and finally figured out that this whole time that I've been 'eating good', I actually have been intaking the same amount of calories if not more, then the 2000 calorie per day diet. I have a calorie journal online that I periodically check, and my goal calorie intake is about 1100 per day. I have broken up my usual diet for the past couple weeks, and the outcome was that I'm going well over 1500. So it's no wonder. The 'Light and Fit', 'Fit & Active' and 'Weight Watchers' labels can be deceiving.
Also, I've been eating Subway for lunch and dinner pretty much every day for the past two weeks (6" for lunch and the other half for dinner). But something occured to me last night while messing with the calorie counter add on Ben's phone...when the Subway commercials say that 'There's only 250 calories in this sandwhich! YAY!' They are not counting, the cheese, bread or condiments. They are basically just giving you the meat. I will break it down for you...
6" Bread: Honey Oat-250 calories, 48 carbs, 3.5g fat
Ham: 60 calories per slice (about 3 slices on a 6")
Turkey: 50 calories per slice (about 3 slices on a 6")
Light Mayo: 50 calories per tsp (so about 6 tsp per 6"), 1.5g fat
Mustard: 5cal per tsp (about 6 tsp per 6")
Provolone: 2 half circles are 1.5g fat, 50 calories (2 per 6")
And that is usually what I get on mine, with spinach, cucumber, and that's it. So lets see, that's, 970 calories and 6.5 grams of fat. For a 6 inch. Now, if I eat the other half for dinner that's almost 1940 calories, not to mention the carbs in that. And the wheat bread is no better, the wheat bread is 200 calories.
See for yourself...
So that's how they get ya. I do agree that is it healthier than eating a Big Mac, except the Big Mac actually has less calories at 540 but 29g of fat. The worse thing to get at McDonalds is the Deluxe breakfast at a whopping 1090 calories and 56 grams of fat. Oh, and the milk shakes, 1110 calories for a vanilla, and about the same for the other two (Sorry dad).
So I think I deciphered why I have not been dropping the weight. I have had a very mislead diet hidden behind 'weight loss' labels. So I'm gonna start cooking up some more chicken breasts and making big salads instead of worrying about getting Scamway.
I'm not giving up yet world. Where there is a will, there is a way.
I also have to stop getting take out. Those Saturday night rendezvous at the Skillet and Hamada and wherever else are not doing me justice.
So a few little updates...
Crazy is still at it. I have not talked to her since the day before the meeting 3 weeks ago, and I don't intend on talking to her. It did not dawn on me how crazy she actually was until her little plans started unfolding. I truly believe that she is trying to get us all fired. I'm not sure what her motive is, or what she plans on doing if we all got fired, but she's got something brewing up there. I think that she has this huge, epic and ultimate plan that will bring all her little plans together one day, and when they do, she's going to put on quite a show. She has no regret for what she did. In fact, she's pretending it didn't happen and acting as though we are all the ones with the problem. She is constantly doing things to make us not like her, snapping at everyone, slamming her phone after every call, stomping around, slamming drawers, oh yeah, and did I mention sending fake e-mails to management about facebook, getting us all in trouble and nearly fired, and not even because f facebook, but because of the drama she's causing...but then gets all riled up when one of us isn't giving her attention. It's so weird...it's like...she does all these things that no normal person would enjoy, but then wants us all to cherish and respect her as a co-worker. Either that or she wants us all to feel sorry for her and give her attention, but we stopped caring a long time ago, so what does she want from us? I just don't get it. It's definately a head scratcher.
We've all been in a good mood today (except for Crazy of course, her being in a good mood should be considered a very rare event. Like the solar eclipse.) So, she's been slamming her phone, yelling at every one that calls, permanantly frowning, things like that. So my co-workers and I have just been laughing at her, and the more we laugh, the more angry she gets. She doesn't nessecarily know we are laughing at her, but I'm sure she's figured it out. I came up with the idea that we should just start spraying her water when she gets out of line, but I'm not sure how spraying crazy people would work out. There could be a number of strange things that happen in an event like that, but who knows.
Oh and one more thing I hate...when people put little stupid flags on there cars. Not flag stickers, but flags. Those little ones that snap into your side windows and flutter around all gay. I just saw an old guy drive over the Monee Manahattan overpass, he had a little golfers cap on, and I assume the typical beige rain guard jacket, with grey slacks and orthopedic foot clubs (shoes) with the velcro. I'm sure he wasn't going anywhere, he was probably just taking a little cruise with his pea sized wife, with her drawn orange eyebrows, and doily. I'm not sure why an old lady with orange eyebrows would be carrying a doily around, but when I picture an old woman, for the longest time, I've thought of doilies. So the woman in my story, is carrying a doily.
Also, I've been eating Subway for lunch and dinner pretty much every day for the past two weeks (6" for lunch and the other half for dinner). But something occured to me last night while messing with the calorie counter add on Ben's phone...when the Subway commercials say that 'There's only 250 calories in this sandwhich! YAY!' They are not counting, the cheese, bread or condiments. They are basically just giving you the meat. I will break it down for you...
6" Bread: Honey Oat-250 calories, 48 carbs, 3.5g fat
Ham: 60 calories per slice (about 3 slices on a 6")
Turkey: 50 calories per slice (about 3 slices on a 6")
Light Mayo: 50 calories per tsp (so about 6 tsp per 6"), 1.5g fat
Mustard: 5cal per tsp (about 6 tsp per 6")
Provolone: 2 half circles are 1.5g fat, 50 calories (2 per 6")
And that is usually what I get on mine, with spinach, cucumber, and that's it. So lets see, that's, 970 calories and 6.5 grams of fat. For a 6 inch. Now, if I eat the other half for dinner that's almost 1940 calories, not to mention the carbs in that. And the wheat bread is no better, the wheat bread is 200 calories.
See for yourself...
So that's how they get ya. I do agree that is it healthier than eating a Big Mac, except the Big Mac actually has less calories at 540 but 29g of fat. The worse thing to get at McDonalds is the Deluxe breakfast at a whopping 1090 calories and 56 grams of fat. Oh, and the milk shakes, 1110 calories for a vanilla, and about the same for the other two (Sorry dad).
So I think I deciphered why I have not been dropping the weight. I have had a very mislead diet hidden behind 'weight loss' labels. So I'm gonna start cooking up some more chicken breasts and making big salads instead of worrying about getting Scamway.
I'm not giving up yet world. Where there is a will, there is a way.
I also have to stop getting take out. Those Saturday night rendezvous at the Skillet and Hamada and wherever else are not doing me justice.
So a few little updates...
Crazy is still at it. I have not talked to her since the day before the meeting 3 weeks ago, and I don't intend on talking to her. It did not dawn on me how crazy she actually was until her little plans started unfolding. I truly believe that she is trying to get us all fired. I'm not sure what her motive is, or what she plans on doing if we all got fired, but she's got something brewing up there. I think that she has this huge, epic and ultimate plan that will bring all her little plans together one day, and when they do, she's going to put on quite a show. She has no regret for what she did. In fact, she's pretending it didn't happen and acting as though we are all the ones with the problem. She is constantly doing things to make us not like her, snapping at everyone, slamming her phone after every call, stomping around, slamming drawers, oh yeah, and did I mention sending fake e-mails to management about facebook, getting us all in trouble and nearly fired, and not even because f facebook, but because of the drama she's causing...but then gets all riled up when one of us isn't giving her attention. It's so weird...it's like...she does all these things that no normal person would enjoy, but then wants us all to cherish and respect her as a co-worker. Either that or she wants us all to feel sorry for her and give her attention, but we stopped caring a long time ago, so what does she want from us? I just don't get it. It's definately a head scratcher.
We've all been in a good mood today (except for Crazy of course, her being in a good mood should be considered a very rare event. Like the solar eclipse.) So, she's been slamming her phone, yelling at every one that calls, permanantly frowning, things like that. So my co-workers and I have just been laughing at her, and the more we laugh, the more angry she gets. She doesn't nessecarily know we are laughing at her, but I'm sure she's figured it out. I came up with the idea that we should just start spraying her water when she gets out of line, but I'm not sure how spraying crazy people would work out. There could be a number of strange things that happen in an event like that, but who knows.
Oh and one more thing I hate...when people put little stupid flags on there cars. Not flag stickers, but flags. Those little ones that snap into your side windows and flutter around all gay. I just saw an old guy drive over the Monee Manahattan overpass, he had a little golfers cap on, and I assume the typical beige rain guard jacket, with grey slacks and orthopedic foot clubs (shoes) with the velcro. I'm sure he wasn't going anywhere, he was probably just taking a little cruise with his pea sized wife, with her drawn orange eyebrows, and doily. I'm not sure why an old lady with orange eyebrows would be carrying a doily around, but when I picture an old woman, for the longest time, I've thought of doilies. So the woman in my story, is carrying a doily.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Help me Jillian Michaels
I'm serious, as of today, I am done pittling around with this weight thing. Why is nothing happening yet?!? I must be doing something wrong! BUT WHAT IS IT?!?! Ahh! So I'm just going to have to work that much harder and get over my dumb little dislikings for treadmills and what not. I've been at this for over two months now and NOTHING has happened! I have lost a few pounds give or take, but I thought by now I'd at least lost a pant size...but no. For a couple days, I thought that my clothes were fitting looser, but I kid you not, I think they've gotten tighter. This is so frustrating, I could just cry right now. I'm just going to come out and say it, I hate the way I look. HATE it. I have a disgusting ripply body that I'm ashamed of, and I'm so mad at myself for letting it get this way. I'm also sick of trying so hard at something that isn't even working. I take back what I said, I think my body is made up of some other weird anatomy because working out for two months and eating right and having nothing happen is unheard of.
I've also been playing with the fact that maybe I'm mentally not letting the weight go. I swear I can give myself the flu by just thinking about it, so maybe I'm stressing myself out so much trying to lose it that I'm just keeping the weight on. Stress makes you gain weight right? I just don't even know anymore. Between this and my constant acid indigestion, I've just had it! I could yell out a whole bunch of profanity and words starting with F right now, but I won't. I'll just think them.
I swear that over the next two months or so, I AM going to get this weight off. I think the acid indigestion is caused by the weight, so I can solve two problems in one. I mean come on, 50 year old women on Biggest Loser can lose it, then so can I dammit!
OK. Had to get that out.
But I'm serious. I can't take it anymore. I hate going into a store and seeing cute shirts that I have to pass up, and dreading buying a bathing suit every summer, and being humiliated going out in it. The phrase, 'Pool Party' gives me seizures. I'm just done living like that. I want to throw on a cute tank top and a skirt this summer and not have to hide it under layers of shirts and pants that took me 4 hours to find. It seriously makes me so sad. I remember my grandpa told me a few years ago, "Just remember, there's a skinny girl in there somewhere". Yeah I was pretty upset by that, but he was right. And my Aunt who was obese for a few years, but is now a double 00, shoving weightwatchers in my face, while the other Aunt chimed in for a drunk banter about my joining, in front of Ben nonetheless, who at the time, was a fresh boyfriend of 2 months. That's not really something you want your two lush anorexically skinny aunts' pointing out in front of your new boyfriend.
He just gave me a hug when we left, and I was crying, and told me not to listen to them. That was night he decided he did not like Aunt Sarah, since her opinions always matter so much more when she's drunk. If we don't stop what we are doing to go to do whatever it is she suggests, she will stare at you, with her lips pursed in a kissy formation, and give you an evil eye while applying scoop after scoop of lipgloss.
Sigh...well I know ranting about it doesn't do me any good, but my butt is stuck in this chair 8 hours out of the day, so I can't express my anger physically (by working out, not punching things like I feel like doing sometimes). This is one of the reasons I miss waitressing. We went to the bar last night to celebrate St. Patty's day for a little bit, and I was periodically glancing at the bartender. I was jealous of her. She was a little spanish chiquita, cute as a button, running around the bar. Her shift ended at 6 I guess, because the new bartender, Sue, a good hearted older women with a rugged biker look to her, came in to relieve her. I was jealous of both of them. I saw the spanish girl counting out her tips, and I longed so badly to do that again. I hate sitting here, day after day, staring out the window, talking to little assonine, rich, med students. I know I haven't worked there in almost 4 years, but I miss B-dubs. I miss it so very badly. I know if I ever tried to go back it wouldn't be the same. All my friends are gone, all the managers are different, but I still have my memories. I know it sounds stupid, but that place was more then just a dumb old waitressing job to me. I had made a countless amount of friends there, a family, a home away from home. I had as much fun working at that place then I did my sophomore year of highschool, which was by far the best year. There were so many kinds of different people there, so many different places to hang out, it was just great.
I know everything happens for a reason, and had it not, I wouldn't be where I am now. All I need to do now is get this weight off, so I can hopefully be content and make peace with myself.
I am my own worst friend.
I've also been playing with the fact that maybe I'm mentally not letting the weight go. I swear I can give myself the flu by just thinking about it, so maybe I'm stressing myself out so much trying to lose it that I'm just keeping the weight on. Stress makes you gain weight right? I just don't even know anymore. Between this and my constant acid indigestion, I've just had it! I could yell out a whole bunch of profanity and words starting with F right now, but I won't. I'll just think them.
I swear that over the next two months or so, I AM going to get this weight off. I think the acid indigestion is caused by the weight, so I can solve two problems in one. I mean come on, 50 year old women on Biggest Loser can lose it, then so can I dammit!
OK. Had to get that out.
But I'm serious. I can't take it anymore. I hate going into a store and seeing cute shirts that I have to pass up, and dreading buying a bathing suit every summer, and being humiliated going out in it. The phrase, 'Pool Party' gives me seizures. I'm just done living like that. I want to throw on a cute tank top and a skirt this summer and not have to hide it under layers of shirts and pants that took me 4 hours to find. It seriously makes me so sad. I remember my grandpa told me a few years ago, "Just remember, there's a skinny girl in there somewhere". Yeah I was pretty upset by that, but he was right. And my Aunt who was obese for a few years, but is now a double 00, shoving weightwatchers in my face, while the other Aunt chimed in for a drunk banter about my joining, in front of Ben nonetheless, who at the time, was a fresh boyfriend of 2 months. That's not really something you want your two lush anorexically skinny aunts' pointing out in front of your new boyfriend.
He just gave me a hug when we left, and I was crying, and told me not to listen to them. That was night he decided he did not like Aunt Sarah, since her opinions always matter so much more when she's drunk. If we don't stop what we are doing to go to do whatever it is she suggests, she will stare at you, with her lips pursed in a kissy formation, and give you an evil eye while applying scoop after scoop of lipgloss.
Sigh...well I know ranting about it doesn't do me any good, but my butt is stuck in this chair 8 hours out of the day, so I can't express my anger physically (by working out, not punching things like I feel like doing sometimes). This is one of the reasons I miss waitressing. We went to the bar last night to celebrate St. Patty's day for a little bit, and I was periodically glancing at the bartender. I was jealous of her. She was a little spanish chiquita, cute as a button, running around the bar. Her shift ended at 6 I guess, because the new bartender, Sue, a good hearted older women with a rugged biker look to her, came in to relieve her. I was jealous of both of them. I saw the spanish girl counting out her tips, and I longed so badly to do that again. I hate sitting here, day after day, staring out the window, talking to little assonine, rich, med students. I know I haven't worked there in almost 4 years, but I miss B-dubs. I miss it so very badly. I know if I ever tried to go back it wouldn't be the same. All my friends are gone, all the managers are different, but I still have my memories. I know it sounds stupid, but that place was more then just a dumb old waitressing job to me. I had made a countless amount of friends there, a family, a home away from home. I had as much fun working at that place then I did my sophomore year of highschool, which was by far the best year. There were so many kinds of different people there, so many different places to hang out, it was just great.
I know everything happens for a reason, and had it not, I wouldn't be where I am now. All I need to do now is get this weight off, so I can hopefully be content and make peace with myself.
I am my own worst friend.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Green livin' is the life for me...
Good afternoon! A good afternoon indeed! And Happy St. Patricks day, a.k.a. Drunken-People-Who-Suddenly-Think-They-Are-Irish-But-Aren't-So-They-Go-To-Bars-And-Act-Like-Asswipes Day!
I'm Irish, and I couldn't care less. It is coincidental that my favorite color is green though...and I like beer...but the whole Irish accent really burns me. And the green suits, with the cut off legs, green stockings, and penny loafers with cotton balls hanging off them. I really hate the way grown men dress like leprachauns with those fairy shoes and shuffle about with bagpipes. The whole thing just really bugs me. Seriously, where do people come up with these traditions? I think the accent hatred actually came to the first time I saw the movie 'Caddyshack'. That dork of a girlfriend that Danny had, Maggie I think her name was, had an Irish accent in that movie and, UGH, I couldn't stand it! Anytime I see that movie now I have to fast forward the parts with her in it. YES, I hate it that much.
It's another one of those things you just can't explain...why did Curly have a hatred for tassles? I don't know. Do you know? I didn't think so. And why was limburger cheese the only thing that calmed him down? Again, don't know.
Well, I haven't really gone to the gym since Sunday unfortunately. Monday I was having some monster digestion issues, which forced me to leave the gym early. Tuesday we were having a crisis with this whole closing thing on the house. They just have the hardest time setting dates and getting all the information straight that they need, forcing Ben to now close later. We have to be out by April 1st to avoid having to pay another month's rent, and the new closing date is most likely the 26th now. The problem? Ben gets a vacation fund every year from his work, and they needed 'proof', to make sure the extra $1500 and something odd dollars, isn't drug dealer money basically. They also needed proof of homeowners insurance on the house that they haven't even approved him for yet. So he had to go buy homeowners insurance last night, for a house he hasn't even gotten. What sense does that make? So he was a ticking time-bomb yesterday. I went home to help him look for all the new information they needed, then I gave him my credit card, told him to order out, and left to go get a haircut and let him cool off. When I got back, that seemed to have done the trick because he was laughing at Seinfeld when I returned, and when Ben is really mad, not even Seinfeld makes him laugh. So that was good. We ended up eating some beef sandwhiches and watching, yet again, another Seinfeld. Afterwards I cracked a Select 55 (only 1!) and we watched 'Biggest Loser' before going to bed.
The warm weather gives me a happy, fuzzy feeling in my beergut and reminds me how much I love the summer. I finally have a nice car with a big sunroof to enjoy, and I feel like this summer I will finally free of those stubborn pounds I've so desperately wanted to lose for 4 summers now. So far, much to my dismay, I haven't really lost a whole lot of anything. Just a little more self love everytime I step on that scale and it reads the same thing week after week. SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL? Ironically, on Biggest Loser last night, Bob (one of the trainers) said that working in an 8-hour a day office full time, can make losing weight a lot harder. Awesome! Thanks Bob, great news for me!
Well in honor of St. Patty's day, I am going to have a few beer with Ben at the bar after work. He actually called me to go out on a week night! Amazing!
Good bye all!
It's another one of those things you just can't explain...why did Curly have a hatred for tassles? I don't know. Do you know? I didn't think so. And why was limburger cheese the only thing that calmed him down? Again, don't know.
Well, I haven't really gone to the gym since Sunday unfortunately. Monday I was having some monster digestion issues, which forced me to leave the gym early. Tuesday we were having a crisis with this whole closing thing on the house. They just have the hardest time setting dates and getting all the information straight that they need, forcing Ben to now close later. We have to be out by April 1st to avoid having to pay another month's rent, and the new closing date is most likely the 26th now. The problem? Ben gets a vacation fund every year from his work, and they needed 'proof', to make sure the extra $1500 and something odd dollars, isn't drug dealer money basically. They also needed proof of homeowners insurance on the house that they haven't even approved him for yet. So he had to go buy homeowners insurance last night, for a house he hasn't even gotten. What sense does that make? So he was a ticking time-bomb yesterday. I went home to help him look for all the new information they needed, then I gave him my credit card, told him to order out, and left to go get a haircut and let him cool off. When I got back, that seemed to have done the trick because he was laughing at Seinfeld when I returned, and when Ben is really mad, not even Seinfeld makes him laugh. So that was good. We ended up eating some beef sandwhiches and watching, yet again, another Seinfeld. Afterwards I cracked a Select 55 (only 1!) and we watched 'Biggest Loser' before going to bed.
The warm weather gives me a happy, fuzzy feeling in my beergut and reminds me how much I love the summer. I finally have a nice car with a big sunroof to enjoy, and I feel like this summer I will finally free of those stubborn pounds I've so desperately wanted to lose for 4 summers now. So far, much to my dismay, I haven't really lost a whole lot of anything. Just a little more self love everytime I step on that scale and it reads the same thing week after week. SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL? Ironically, on Biggest Loser last night, Bob (one of the trainers) said that working in an 8-hour a day office full time, can make losing weight a lot harder. Awesome! Thanks Bob, great news for me!
Well in honor of St. Patty's day, I am going to have a few beer with Ben at the bar after work. He actually called me to go out on a week night! Amazing!
Good bye all!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Hamada of Japan
Well I tried to do a little updating on this thing, and all I managed to do was put on a new background, and blow up my picture to an annoyingly large size. I can't get it back now.
You'll have to excuse my rage in the last post, I let my anger get the best of me. I failed to realize that losing weight takes time. I've been steadily gaining it for the past 4 years, so it's going to take time to get it off. But sometimes you just gotta vent, you know?
I didn't give up. In fact it just made me want to do it that much more. I went to the gym 4 days last week, all at about an hour a peice. Except Sunday I went for an hour an a half. The gym was virtually empty at first, just me and an older man working out in jeans. Ouch. So I finally manned up and went on the treadmill. For 4 minutes. Then I was reminded why I hate the the treadmill so much, so I got off. I did run on it however, but only for 4 minutes before I thought to myself, "I really hate treadmills".
I moved on to the swinging elliptacle on a resistance of 15 for 20 minutes, and then moved it to a resistance of 20 for 10 minutes. Austin Powers was on so I just watched that for a half hour before finally getting off, sweaty and numb and moved onto the stairway of hell. I set it on a resistance of 3 and reluctantly worked out on it for 5 minutes. No 10 minutes yet. After that, I went and did some free weights. Usually on a week day, the free weight section of the gym is occupied by 6 or 7 highschool boys and a few older gentleman. I feel very awkward waddling over to their territory and lifting weights, especially since highschoolers are not always the nicest of people, so I tend to stick to cardio for most of my work out. Or at least until the highschoolers move over to the cardio machines, then I move.
You'll have to excuse my rage in the last post, I let my anger get the best of me. I failed to realize that losing weight takes time. I've been steadily gaining it for the past 4 years, so it's going to take time to get it off. But sometimes you just gotta vent, you know?
I didn't give up. In fact it just made me want to do it that much more. I went to the gym 4 days last week, all at about an hour a peice. Except Sunday I went for an hour an a half. The gym was virtually empty at first, just me and an older man working out in jeans. Ouch. So I finally manned up and went on the treadmill. For 4 minutes. Then I was reminded why I hate the the treadmill so much, so I got off. I did run on it however, but only for 4 minutes before I thought to myself, "I really hate treadmills".
I moved on to the swinging elliptacle on a resistance of 15 for 20 minutes, and then moved it to a resistance of 20 for 10 minutes. Austin Powers was on so I just watched that for a half hour before finally getting off, sweaty and numb and moved onto the stairway of hell. I set it on a resistance of 3 and reluctantly worked out on it for 5 minutes. No 10 minutes yet. After that, I went and did some free weights. Usually on a week day, the free weight section of the gym is occupied by 6 or 7 highschool boys and a few older gentleman. I feel very awkward waddling over to their territory and lifting weights, especially since highschoolers are not always the nicest of people, so I tend to stick to cardio for most of my work out. Or at least until the highschoolers move over to the cardio machines, then I move.
Oh, and I forgot, Uncle B and Aunt Pat showed up. I knew it was them when they were pulling up because Uncle B drives a maroon Subaru Outback hatchback. The perfect lesbian car in my opinion. You're not sure if it's feminine or masculine, but it's more masculine, just like them.
Like I was saying, after I was finished with my cardio, I was taking advantage of the vacant free weight section. Since the jeans guy was gone, it was just me and lesbians. I conciously to stay as far away from them as possible, but I kept a close eye on them incase they tried to pull any funny stuff. I know this is totally weird of me, but a few times I thought they were going to forget I was there and start making out or something. After that thought popped into my head, I couldn't look at them anymore. I turned my back to them and did a few lunges and other various free weight excersizes before taking off.
So something occured to me today that has periodically crossed my mind, but was disregarded. You know what? It is really hard to stay on a diet when you constantly have acid indigestion. No matter how much I eat, I constantly feel like I am starving severely. It doesn't just stop there, it gives me stomach aches, makes me very irritable and uncomfortable, more often then not, brings on headaches. It's getting rediculous. Fruits and vegetables are not good foods to eat when you have acid indigestion. Most of them have underlying acids in them (tomatoes for example), and I think green peppers, not sure. Fruits like apples, oranges...I have to eat starchy or milk based foods to subside the pains. Tums and Rolaids don't do anything, I may as well eat candy. I didn't really think much of it at first, but I was really thinking about it today, and I don't think I go one time in the day where I don't have it. Sometimes it's just not as bad and I don't really notice it, but most of the time its staggering. Especially in the morning around 5 am when Ben leaves for work, it usually starts to flare up. When I make my lunch in the morning, I base it around snacks I can eat to help my acid indigestion, not diet foods. It's like it's taking over my life. I don't have health insurance, I cannot afford to go to the doctor, so I don't know what to do.
So my weekend was fun.
Friday I got off work early to go pay some bills and go to a dreaded doctors appointment, only designed to violate women. So I once I was done being violated, I got home about 4:00, and Ben and I decided it would be fun to go out to eat. I suggest TGIF's because I've been dying for 'Sizzlin' Chicken and Cheese'. I don't care who you are, if you don't love this mind-blowing entree, you are missing out. Way out.
But Ben insisted that he wanted to go to Hamada instead. Which I NEVER object too. I feel like a princess when he brings me there. You sit at a table of 8, with a large griddle in the middle, and the cook prepares your dish right at your table. First you get salad, soup, then a hefty bowl of chicken fried rice, a large portion of noodles (the best noodles you'll ever taste), followed by 2 big scoops of fresh grilled veggies, and then your meat. I always get the Royal Delight, which is chicken and shrimp. If you ever go here, I suggest eating the seafood sauce (the light orange sauce), with everything. I always take home a huge box full because by the time I get my meat, I'm stuffed, so when I do put my food in a box to take home, I just pour it in and mix it with everything. You can't go wrong with it. It's a sweet peppery sauce and taste amazing on anything. I bet it even tastes good on ice cream. It's that good. You will never find an entree there that is under $17.00. But it's so worth it. The place is very inviting, with a cozy romantic setting and the food is always great. Not just good, but great. Tony the Tiger style. I love going there. We've also been to Fuji's Japanese Steak House in Orland Park too, but Hamada of Japan tops it, and is in Tinley Park, so it's a lot closer.
Well the work day has come to a close.
I will elaborate more tomorrow, I'm going to the gym to work on my fitness, whenever it feels like presenting itself.
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