Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Ants, cats and things...

I woke up today, feeling like a zombie. I have a feeling it has something to do with the humidity making me feel sluggish, or the fact that we just got back from a fun, sun and beer filled weekend, but I had an extremely hard time getting up this morning.  I trudged down the stairs, eyes still closed, found the werewolf and snuggled with him on the couch for a few more minutes before he scrambled away.  After my shower, I was getting ready for work as I usually do, when I noticed there was some kind of parade going on.

This wasn't a normal parade with music and gay floats and what not...but a parade of hundreds of ants filing giddily into my kitchen.  I stepped closer to the sink, one foot at a time, eyes wide like the ants were some kind of alien ants and were going to spew acid in my face or something...I muttered a load of obsenities under my breath...They were everywhere. The parade ended in a town ant meeting in my sink...I just stood there, staring. I had no idea what to do...it was about 8:10, I had to leave in about a half hour.  My hair wasn't done, lunch wasn't made, no breakfast had been eaten, and I knew this little fiasco was going to take up some time.  My first thought was I needed to spray them with something, and not having any bug spray, we use Lysol antibacterial spray to kill pests.  So, I drenched them in antibacterial spray.  It killed all the ones having a party, but did not stop them from filing in from the outside.  They were coming in from the back door, and the crack where the cabinets and the floor meet.  There is also a giant hill in our garage, and apparently another one under the porch, so I have a pretty good feeling they were coming in from the basement.  So I vaccumed and Lysol-ed them all for the time being, then threw the vaccum bag away. While all this was going on, Poster decided this would be a fine time to get inside the cabinets and roam around, which he knows he should not be doing, but seems to enjoy testing my patience when necessary--I was over this day already and I'd been awake for about an hour.

I finished doing my hair quick, and by this time, it was 8:44.  Awesome. I had literally no time to do anything else.  I brought a tupperware of cheerios and a 'bullet' of milk (the airtight container found on a 'magic bullet mixer'), for my breakfast, stomped on a few ants on my way out and drove to work in an angry tizzy.  I don't even remember driving to work, that's how angry I was. As I'm sitting down to start my day at the office, it dawned on me that it was June 1st.  June 1st is the day my sticker expires on my car. So I called around for prices and everywhere is pretty much the same...$104.00.  Including a $5 convenience fee.  Convenient for who!?  So that just struck my angry bone some more.  It's only my luck to be pulled over and ticketed for the sticker, so I'm just waiting for that to happen...

So anyway, lunch time comes and I told the boss that I was going to take a long lunch so I could go home and spray for ants.  I called the local Dollar General to ask them if they had traps, they said yes.  When I got there, they didn't have any traps.  I guess within the 5 minutes I called there must've been a sudden rush of ant trap Crazies trampling into DG, must be an out break of ants or something (rolls eyes).  So I settled for a indoor/outdoor Raid spray with a 'fresh comforting scent', which I found to be some sort of oxymoron...A can of death with a fresh comforting scent...oook.

So I sprayed a perfect jet of comforting death spray into the ants marching grounds, being careful to make sure I didn't get it everywhere because of the werewolf.  I sprayed it precisely into the crack where the cabinets and floor meet, in front of the back door, and unloaded a destructive amount of spray into the hill in the garage.  I went back in and took a papertowel around the cabinets where I sprayed to make sure Poster didn't get any notions.  But as usual, I was right. He promptly made his way straight to where I just sprayed and began sniffing around. Don't be fooled, the fresh comforting spray evidently attracts asshole cats as well as entices humans with the beautiful aroma. But I wanted to see what he did.  I couldn't stay at home to baby-sitt the little snot all day, so I watched him to see what he would do.  Luckily, he only sniffed and carried on his way. 

I wanted to mention also, that yesterday, we bought him new elevated bowls because he has a bad habit of pushing his water bowl all over, causing it to spill. He also usually pushes it right next to his box, which is never a good thing.  So these elevated bowls are simply two steel bowls, perched into a large plastic holder with a rubber ring on the bottom. Kind of like the one in the picture, except black.  I spent $14 bucks on this thing, and what does he do as soon as I set it down and fill it up for him? I walk away, and I hear him pushing it across the floor.

I need a vacation. Seriously.

No comments: