Saturday, October 17, 2015

My Anxiety, Headaches and Life

So, I feel like I address this on my social media sites, but it's such an all over the place topic for me, that's it hard to follow exactly what it is that I'm complaining about constantly.

I figured I would just post this on my blog, with the hope that others can feel a sense of relief in knowing you're not alone. Understandably, everyone has their own opinions, and there are still people out there who believe it's "all in your head" and to just "get over it". Well, of course it's all in your head. Everything that makes you function, and who you are is IN YOUR HEAD. HELLO? Gosh people, stahhp. Please spare us the nonsensical boredom and repetitiveness of this so-called "solution". People tend to hate on subjects they do not understand, and frankly, you suck the life out of us.

First, my backstory. As far back as I can remember I'd always been an anxious kid. I always had stomachaches, I always thought I was sick, and anything that started early in the morning made me extremely anxious (ahem, school). I HATED going to school, and not because I just generally hate being bored at school, but because I was TERRIFIED of germs, and throwing up. There was also something about early mornings that made me uneasy.  That morning "smell" of breakfast foods and coffee makes me anxious. I'm guessing this is because I had a stomachache every morning, and forcefully eating breakfast always made it worse. I went to school everyday (particularly elementary school), and complained to my teacher I didn't feel good. So much so, that she stopped believing me and wouldn't even talk to me about it anymore. I was so worried about getting sick that I would obsessively wash my hands throughout the day to the point they were bleeding. I still do this. 

Around the age of 13 we had to move. Long story as to why, but the house we were living in, in my eyes, was this amazing place with a pool, a neighborhood full of my friends, a trampoline that usually had fourteen kids at a time on it, and a giant customized gymnastics style swing set that my dad had built for us (I was in gymnastics at the time). We moved into a house that was smaller, and although brand new, seemed to have a bad energy in it. It just seemed cold, and dark. I think that was just a foreshadowing on my life at the time, but, regardless, we were all not happy. It was a nice house, but it wasn't OUR house. I went from having a pool and trampoline, to not even having any grass yet. A couple days after we moved in, I was sitting upstairs in my room and suddenly it occurred to me, this was my room now. My old room was gone, the pool was gone, and my giant awesome swing-set was gone, all the memories I'd made in that house suddenly seemed obsolete. I suddenly felt this wave of dread come over me. I was never going back there. I was having trouble breathing, and I just started pacing around my room, needing to run somewhere but not sure where, and I just wept. This went on for about ten-twenty minutes, and then I calmed down. Yet, the feeling of dread never left. You know the depiction of the "dark cloud" that follows people around when they are anxious/depressed in those commercials? It was exactly that. Everything just felt...weird after that. Everything seemed cold and gloomy for me. I went to school and came home and laid on the couch until bedtime. I had to be excused from reading class in middle school because we were discussing Holocaust and I literally could not sit through the class without having a panic attack. I had go home from Sunday school one night because the teacher wanted to watch "What Dreams May Come", which is obviously all about death, dread, Heaven and Hell, and it gave me a panic attack. This was my life then, and I couldn't do anything about it but let it run it's course. 

My dad, who also deals with a history of anxiety and depression, brought me in to a child psychiatrist who put me on a medication called Buspar (Buspirone). The side effects of this medication were the worst. I felt nauseous, like I was floating, but the worst was the "skipping a frame" feeling. Anyone who has ever taken a medication for depression or anxiety will probably know this feeling. It's like you can turn your head to look at something, but it takes your brain a second to catch up. Much like if you were watching an old black and white movie that has the tiny blip of black in between each frame. One day, I came back to class after a visit with my psychiatrist, and a kid asked me smugly "so are you dying?"...I should have punched that kid in the face.

Eventually, the severity of the medications side effects wore off, and I started to feel better. Days seemed brighter, I wanted to hang out with my friends again, and I didn't lay around on the couch as much. I trialed a few different medications over the years, those of which I could not even tell you the names of, but I've tried quite a few. Buspar and Effexor were the most effective for me.

Fast forward to now. 

I had stopped taking any medication around 2006, and just dealt. Over the years my anxiety kept on the back burner, only showing up at times that made sense. Getting on a plane for the first time, getting married, being forced on a roller coaster by my husband, you get the idea. 

2007...enter headaches. They came on gradually and annoyingly, I did not just wake up one day with a blinding migraine. I just assumed I had allergies or was "stressed" and just carried on.

December 2014, I pursued working on my Associates in Business Management, and also working at a new job. The hours were relentless for the first 3 months with mandatory overtime, and all of a sudden, my anxiety was back. Within a couple weeks, it came swooping in full-force, and brought on a whole new array of symptoms that I had no idea what to do with. These were all new to me. It got so bad, that it was to the point where I could not eat in the morning and I was practically throwing up if I managed to gag food down. Everything looked and tasted like cardboard. I had a constant surge of cold tingles in my limbs, nausea, dizziness, my usual headaches, but now these headaches were accompanied with mental fog, fullness in my face/ears, random hives, and wondering every morning, "how the hell am I going to get through this day?". The only time I felt any peace and comfort was laying in bed at night. I've missed out on every holiday with my family this year. Even if I was physically there, I most likely was in a state of woe, just looking for an escape route back to my couch.

I finally gave up and went to a neurologist. I had an MRI done, extensive blood work, vitamin deficiency bloodwork (that was analyzed by Mayo Clinic), and everything came back clear and normal. No sign of anything at all. Sinuses were clear, at least in the MRI. No nerve damage or inflammation. She trialed me on Topamax and Trokendi, and to no avail. She also prescribed me with Zoloft for the anxiety, which has definitely helped so that I was able to get my appetite back and function socially, but getting through work is still rough some days. 

Since then, I have been referred all over the place, all leading to dead ends. Aside from my neurologist, I have also seen a chiropractor, a TMJ specialist, an orthodontist, an ENT, a trip to the ER, and my primary (I think I'm on a first name basis with them now), and I have a wisdom tooth removed (which sparked a 4 week long migraine). I've been given a night guard by my orthodontist (which did not help at all, I think it made my headaches worse), and am being fitted for Invisalign to possibly rule out any jaw issues. Is your head spinning yet? That's how I've felt. My blood work always comes back "fantastic" aside from the fact that I may eat too many carbs (WHICH I WILL NOT STOP DOING), and that's it. Yet, I always leave these places, feeling just as crappy. 

I have now been told I have chronic tension headaches, TMJ (temporomandibular joint syndrome), two vertebrae in my neck are out of alignment, my "bite" is out of alignment, which is the reason my vertebrae are off course (k), and my favorite, dry sinuses. When the ENT hurriedly told me to use a Neti-pot and saline as a form of treatment (which I expressed to her did not work for me in the past), and my heart just sank. I sat out in the parking lot and cried for 20 minutes afterwards because I was so frustrated. She also 
told me that "sinus problems do not cause dizziness, and I should visit my primary doctor for this", and this is why I'm not going back to this ENT. 

I have a follow up appointment with a second chiropractor next week to see the x-rays on my neck that were done last week (no x-rays were administered by my first chiro). He said he saw "three red flags" and indicated that the natural curvature in my neck is actually slightly curving in the other direction. This is the only thing that has made sense to me in the past year. Ouch.

All that aside, I do have good days. It's not all doom and gloom. I'd be lying if I said my better days are not ones that are spent vegging on the couch with my paranormal shows and a drink in hand, but nonetheless. It's a step by step process. Unfortunately, I have to deal with all of this while still trying to embrace my anxiety/depression. I just have to keep on moving because life isn't going to stop while you try to fight it. Exercise helps the anxiety (but flares my headaches), Excedrin is my bestie, and YES, for shit's sake, I drink enough water. Like, a gallon a day. Over a 5 year of period of weight loss, I've done extensive research on health, lifestyles, natural remedies, etc. I know....I just know. So please don't tell me I have a gluten sensitivity, or don't drink enough water, or have allergies, or am a crazy cat lady, I ALREADY KNOW. 

If I was going to self-diagnose myself, which I'm amazing at doing, I would say that I'm just stressed beyond the point of stress. Headaches just come along for the ride, and make the problem worse because I panic about why I have headaches. It's a vicious cycle.

Love thy cats,


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

2013 Favorites Part 2

Heya peoples,

This is the part two edition of THIS video:

I was originally going to do this part two in a second video, but decided it was more blog worthy instead because I can list things rather then rattle them off. However, I try to get videos out every week.

If you did not watch the video, (which you should) was basically just naming off all my favorite cosmetics of the 2013 year. Now I'm going to stuff that you do not put on your face. I guess you can put this stuff on your face...I don't know why though.

Men in Black 3 (I watched this damn near 20 times last year, it's a must that this be here)
Lady in Black (The black part is just a coincidence, but I watched this movie quite a bit. I must stay a devoted fan to Daniel Radcliffe as my former Harry Potter, and I love a good ghost flick!)
ParaNorman (This movie reminded me a lot of Coraline, with it's creepy animation. Plus it's got ya go).
The Heat (Undoubtedly, one of the funniest movies of the year)

One Republic - Can't Stop
30 Seconds to Mars - Hurricane

Hopeless Wanderer - Mumford and Sons
Came Back Haunted - Nine Inch Nails

Walking on a Dream - Empire of the Sun
Crystalfilm - Little Dragon
Midnight City - M83
Pyro - Kings of Leon
Gaucho - Dave Matthews Band
Burn - Usher
Enjoy The Silence - Depeche Mode
Appreciation - Jimmy Eat World
Happy - Pharell Williams
Give me Love - Ed Sheeran
Stay - Micky Ekko & Rihanna
Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
We Don't Eat - James Vincent McMorrow

Of course, this does not include my cardio tracks. I will do those in a separate post later on:)

Aside from my usual Vampire Diaries and Supernatural, there are a lot of other shows on my DVR that make the cut, but I never talk about.
Dead Files - Travel Channel (This is one of few shows on TV that literally make me afraid of my own shadow, if you are fascinated by the ghost world, you'll be hooked).
Paranormal Witness - SyFy (Reenactments of actual, true, hauntings, as told by the hauntees themselves. Sure, it's probably exaggerated, but no one will ever know. Either way, the stories are interesting. It's like "Are you Afraid of the Dark" but real, and for adults. #90sKids)
Ghost Adventures - Travel Channel (I used to be a big TAPS follower, or Ghost Hunters on SyFy, but Ghost Adventures is better in opinion. Although I love the TAPS crew, GA is just more intense. Zak is always yelling and instigating, which leads to more evidence. Generally, it's just more entertaining).

Those are pretty much all I watched all year. It's my Friday night ritual is grab a drink of choice and watch all the new episodes.

Argo Iced Teas (Try the Hibiscus Sangria...YUM - I found mine at Shell, but I'm sure you can find them anywhere tea is sold)
Vanilla Chai hot Tea by Bigelow (with some Cinnamon and honey...drool)
La Croix Sparkling waters

So you can see now why I didn't want to do a video of this...

Check out my YouTube channel for new videos every week between Wednesday and Friday. If you have any requests for blog posts/video ideas, leave them in the comments on either page.

Love thy kitties,




Monday, December 30, 2013

Quickie Review "Impress Press-on Manicure" by Broadway

Hey guys! Happy almost new year!

Firstly, I stupidly forgot to take a picture before I took these nails off last night, which is a fail on my part as a blogger so I apologize for this, but I have provided the website so you can check out their gallery:

I was at Walgreens a while back and saw the Impress nails. They are normally around $7, but were half off, so I decided to give them a try. Over the weekend, I attended a few parties, one being a college graduation party for my cousin and a Christmas party for my husbands side of the fam. I wanted some nice looking nails to bite off later, but I didn't feel like painting my nails. I painted a quick gold coat on them for Christmas last week, but I took it off prior to putting the nails on. I almost didn't even take it off. (I've been extra lazy with this lately...Seriously, before Christmas, it was like 2 months).

So, I stuck them on about 30 seconds before walking out the door, and they stuck immediately. It says to wait 30 minutes before coming in contact with water. This is really hard for me because I wash my hands constantly. The place where the graduation party was being thrown, was about 10 minutes away. As part of being an avid hand washer, I feel the need to wash my hands immediately after getting out of the car. I truly believe that your steering wheel is one of the most dirty things on the planet besides your toilet (think about it, all those gas pumps...eek!), but I've guys, I LITERALLY, throughout the night, washed my hands about 400 times. Possibly 402.

The following day, I did some serious after Christmas organizing and cleaning. Took the Christmas tree down, washed about a hundred dishes, opened boxes, did 3 loads of laundry, took out a ton of recycling and garbage...Even after all of this, the nails were still intact perfectly. I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to put them to the test, and it was. They are comfortable to wear and you don't even know you have them on after a bit. You can also file them down if need be (which I wouldn't suggest doing actually because this can cause some slight peeling at the top of the nail, but if you REALLY want too, you can, just be warned, they will not last as long). They are said to last up to a week, but, I took them off after a day and a half. I know they wouldn't have lasted as long because I chose to file them, which separates the polished sticker portion from the plastic nail.

That being said, these nails are the best! I am the biggest tomboy, so I have literally never gotten my nails done, ever, and now, thanks to these, I never will.

Love thy kitties,

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Urban Decay Marisopa and Deluxe Shadow Box Palettes


If you are here because you randomly found me, here is the video where I talk about these palettes in my fall/winter favorites on my YouTube channel:

If you are here because you saw the video and you want to see the swatches (although I'm a terrible swatcher), here ya go!

(Sorry the last 3 colors were cut off, but they are Shag, Scratch and Underground)

Just like other UD palettes, these are just as good. Not quite sure what to do with Honey, but the rest of them are great. Sorry for the smudges on the palettes, I've been using them quite a bit! (Tip: Mix Peace and Graffiti together and it makes a beautiful turquoise shade!)
Love thy kitties,

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Quickie: Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Dark Circles Concealer (For undereye brightening!)

This is just a quick review on the Maybelline Age Rewind Eraser Concealer. This works as a dark spot corrector and brightener for under the eyes. For a long time I was using a lighter shade of Mary Kay foundation for under my eyes, but I felt like it just wasn't BRIGHT enough. I think having bright eyes is so flattering and makes your face look awake and glowing. Then, I was watching one of LeighAnnSays "Get Ready with Me" videos and I saw her using it and decided to get some myself--the next day actually! I went with the lightest brightening shade I could find (seeing that I'm a ghost) and I am extremely pleased with this.
First things first - When I first opened it, I was completely confused how to use it. Upon opening it, you have to twist it for what feels like 10 minutes to finally get the color onto the sponge applicator. I use this over my normal foundation (Cover Girl 3 in 1 Outlast of course), and you can use as much as you want until you have the desired look you want. Just a side note, my brows are t-r-b-l in these pics, thank jebus for brow pencils;)

Step 1: Wake up, looking fabuloso.
Just kidding. I look like a monster. I had LITERALLY just rolled out of bed and took this pic too. Lucky you.

Step 2: Apply foundation as normal.
Step 3: Give it a couple clicks, and
dab desired amount under eyes. Pat downward and up to the temples.
Step 4: After applying (this is the concealer and foundation ONLY)

Here is a side by side. Now mind you, I had not yet applied setting powder, but I normally will use the brightener, then use my regular Cover Girl pressed powder (the famous one I always rave about), and then pat an ELF translucent face powder under my eyes in the same sections I applied the brightener also because it's much lighter then my face too, so it works great for that.

Here is with all my face on:


So overall, I'd give this a pretty good review. It's easy to apply, blends well, and definitely brightens the under eyes (I use this for redness around my nose too). Although I've read some other reviews griping about the packaging/applicator, I actually like it. You can get it for about $10 where sold, and I'd say to give it a try if you darkness under your eyes. If you plan on getting this for a spot concealer for all over your face and not just under your eyes, make sure you get it to match your face and not two shades lighter like I did. I really have no obvious complaints that I can think of with this. If you've used this, let me know watcha think below!

Love thy kitties,

Thursday, November 7, 2013

It's fall...finally! October Favorites:)

Hi kiddos!

Hope you all are having a fabuloso fall so far.

I've been busy, busy with work, getting some videos out, drinking tea, watching tv, all that good stuff.

Best mug ever

So, since I have a few videos lined up, I didn't know when I'd be able to work some October favorites in there.

1) Jordana Twist and Shine Balm Stains

These are moisturizing, cheap and pretty. They glide on nicely, they smell good, and are buildable. Definitely give these a shot before you go out and buy more expensive brands. These are definitely a drug store gem. Try using a Beautique brand lip liner in red, for a soft outline. You can find Beautique brand at Sallys, and they are mega-affordable.

2) Maybelline ColorSensational Lip Gloss in Gleaming Grenadine

I know, I know! I said I wasn't really using lip glosses anymore, but this one was on clearance and I had too. Target made me do it! But, WOW. This lip gloss is beautiful. The color is spot on. What you see in the tube, is what is on your lips! It goes nicely over a lipstick/stain, and for a matte effect, blot with a tissue. The ol' tissue trick. My biggest problem with lip gloss lately is that my teeth get in the way.

3) Chapstick Moisturizer with Hydration Lock

I've always been a fan of Chapstick brand (even with Burts, EOS, and Softlips floating around). I use it every night before bed and it's never steered me wrong. I received this in my October Birchbox and I love it! Even been using it over my Softlips...GASP.

4) Wet N Wild Palette "I'm Getting Sunburned"

Wet N' Wild is one of those brands that goes unnoticed in the store most of the time because of it's reputation for being cheap. Much like ELF or NYC; BUT, thanks to EmilyNoel83 I bought myself a few of these. Honestly, I used these a few times when I first got them and then retired them into a drawer for awhile. I busted this one back out recently after watching one of her tutorials, and I am completely in love with this now. Be warned, these eyeshadows have an incredibly ridiculous fallout and tend to break easily so be careful while storing these, AND tapping your brush or sponge tip applicator is a MUST. However, the colors, once distributed and blended, are beautiful. The pink makes for a beautiful crease/blending color. I plan on doing a tutorial with this eventually to show you. Despite the fallout/breaking drawback, you cannot beat this for $2-3 bucks!

4) Neutrogena On-The-Spot Acne Treatment
For whatever reason, I was having a skin crisis over the past few weeks and breaking out in spots on my face where I normally don't get breakouts. I'm guessing it was from all the Halloween candy...ughh. On a whim, I bought this little guy having success with Neutrogena products before, and viola! Gone in only a few short days. I could see the difference literally overnight. This will become a tiny staple in my medicine cabinet from now on.

5) Bath and Body Works "Be Enchanted" Body Spray

I don't really buy much from B&B because I tent to buy the body sprays and then they end up in another dimension of my house, and I end up finding them 6 years later, untouched, covered in dust. Be Enchanted, is NOT one of those scents for me. I ADORE this body spray. It's a rich, bold scent that smells like a mix of gummy bears, musk, amber...just perfect for the fall/winter months! This is the only one that I will probably have to repurchase, which is a rarity for me! I had the lotion too, but I gave it to my bestie to share the love. I also bought these for my mom and sister for Christmas last year. Can't get enough!

6) Maybelline Master Duo Liquid Eyeliner
I just wanted to start out by saying, I SUCK at liquid eyeliner. I just haven't quite grasped onto the "cat-eye" concept yet. Usually, when I manage to do it, it's out of pure luck. Luckily, I'm getting much better now, thanks to this little tube. Before, I was using a Wet N' Wild Megaliner, which just went all over the place because the brush like 2 feet long, but this is a teeny spongy tip. You can flip it to the side for a skinny line, or lay it flat for a thick line. This stuff is nice for people just starting out with liquid liner like me. Don't get me wrong, still difficult at first, but definitely easier then the Wet N Wild. I was loyal to pencils, but I figured it was time to put on my big girl pants and try some liquid liners. I can't review things if I don't try them!

Shows I am loving!

Duh, Vampire Diaries. I'm a sucker for CW shows...Delena all the way! (Sorry Stefan fans). Damon is where it's at! I also have the biggest girl crush on Nina Dobrev. So many beautiful people in this show and just the perfect amount of drama and wine guzzling, tear jerking moments. They also have the most amazing soundtracks. 

 ...And Supernatural..Ok, you have 2 hot brothers in one show who fight demons, folklore monsters, vampires, killer clowns, their adorable best angel friend, Castiel... Then you have Crowley, the king of the underworld locked in their basement, and Charlie their awesome lesbian gamer girl pal; and all the other lovable characters along the way (honorable mentions, Bobby and the Trickster of course). There is no reason to NOT love this show. I am a longtime and loyal fan! I follow these guys on Twitter too and they make fun of each other via Twitter during show premieres. They are just the best. If you haven't seen this yet, you have a lot of catching up to do because they are in season 9 right now!

I've also recently gotten into NBC's Community...

I just started getting into Community though so I don't know a whole lot about it as of now, except for the love triangle between Jeff, Annie and Britta. I really love Joel McHale. Plus, anything with Chevy Chase and I'm there. He's been awesome since Caddyshack.


Donkey Chips! These are all natural tortilla chips that are amazing heated up, not heated up, covered in shredded cheese, or salsa. My husband and I can polish off a whole bag in a few days...

Ok, and I know this is a total ridiculous thing to add to food I feel like, but I have been obsessed with Dietz and Watson's Gourmet Chicken Breast lunch meat lately (sliced thin of course;) I have a love/hate relationship with lunch meat because a lot of the time (having a Quizo's flashback) the meat is...jiggly and slimy. Ew, ew, ew! I shutter just thinking about that. D&W on the other hand is sooooo good! I've been buying by the pound and making myself a sandwich on whole wheat with a slice of provolone for the past 2 weeks it feels like. It also goes well on good crackers too (I like the long thin sesame crackers personally - sorry I can't think what they are called!). I'm guessing this is a nationwide brand, so if you see this logo, hook yourself up! It's a little pricey, but worth it. If you can find it on sale, even better!

Songs I love right now:

(For workouts)

Tritonal, Jeza - Can't Keep It In (Moar Levi's Starlight remix)
Estiva Mix - Wait Forever

Seriously, if you are looking for some good workout songs, download those. I could just put these two songs on repeat and do a 20 minute run! Lol. Tritonal is awesome for working out. Thank you Spotify radio!

(In general)

One Republic - Can't Stop (Check out the whole "Native" album, SO good)

30 Seconds to Mars - Hurricane  (I wear myself out on this song all the time, give it a few weeks and love it all over again...seriously...listen to Jared Leto's voice...Homer drool...he's so pretty).

Nine Inch Nails - Copy of A

That's all folks! Also, I started working on this yesterday, but last night, discovered that my home laptop completely crashed. I got the blue screen of death telling me that it could not locate a hard drive...THAT bad! Which is infuriating because the computer is just barely a year old (but of course, just shy of still being under warranty, go figure). I can't even boot the system through safe mode because apparently, the new Acers removed safe mode for faster boot up. You can only access safe mode through Windows...THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. How can you only access it through Windows, IF YOU CAN'T LOAD WINDOWS? We have the worst luck with laptops. We had a Compaq before this, and that thing was a piece of junk right out of the box...Apparently, so is this one, (it's an Acer, btw). So, hopefully my videos won't be on a hiatus for awhile! I'm in a panic trying to figure out what to do if the laptop can't be fixed. Sigh. Just a hiccup, I know, but it's so frustrating!

Love thy kitties,

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Blogging/YouTube, Randoms, and Angry Video Game Nerd!

So I'm sure a lot of you who take the time to read my blog and watch my videos (thank you for that!), have been wondering why I have been busting out the YouTube videos lately versus blogging.  I understand if people who have known me for a long time are confused by my sudden interest in these things, so I've decided to explain...

So first, again, I want to thank you guys who come visit my blog/watch my videos. You guys are awesome. High five!

Don't get me wrong, I love to blog/write. I love hearing later on that "my blogs made you laugh and you love reading them" because that makes me, ever so happy! I love making people laugh and hearing that a product I suggested works great for them. However, blogging is not easy all the time. I give so much credit to these gals on the web who can update their blog daily because it's not easy! Especially when you have a larger audience. 

I have never really been a big YouTube watcher until the past year or so when I started watching hair tutorials, trying to find some new ways to style my hopeless mane of hair. Along the way, I started watching Nicole Guerriero, who started out making videos on her bedroom floor, with little editing skills/tools, and now, blows YouTube away and is one of the most well known beauty gurus out there. From there, I was introduced to several others, particularly, Gr8veyardgirl (AKA, Bunny), who I consider my best friend YouTube. I've never talked to her personally, but I watch her videos so regularly, that I feel like she's my friend. I sit and drink my tea and watch her videos, and listen to her talk about life and make funny faces. Both of these ladies do not give a flying f-word what you think of them. I loved this about them. These two gals together, have given me a new perspective on not caring about crappy people and their crappy opinions and just being yourself. So I decided I could put my ghostly, pale, face on YouTube too! Vlogging/YouTube, hey, why not? If they can do it, so can I. Of course, I have many other subscriptions which I will link my favorites below, mostly beauty gurus, but those are my top two.

Obviously, my first two videos (or maybe all of them so far?)...Heh, incredibly awkward. I am 110% aware of this. At first, I was setting up the camera on my nightstand in my bedroom (if you couldn't tell). It was weird talking to the wall/lamp/nightstand. Our new Acer computer didn't make a lick of sense to me, (even as a dorky computer geek!), so I was not aware that I could download apps on it, which explains why there is no editing in my first few videos. Eventually, after much frustration and probably a few bottles of wine later, I figured out how to use editing tools on Windows Movie Editor. It's so fun to use! My grandpa was also nice enough to give me a tripod he no longer needed, so now I can use a real tripod (that's right, a REAL one!), and not a stack of DVDs like I was using before.

So, all in all, I am not a make-up artist, nor do I do hair. I LOVE both of these things, and can DO hair, but professionally, I do neither of these. I don't want anyone to think that suddenly, I think I am some professional who knows everything. Completely untrue. My initial goal is just let people see how I do things in every day life, the products I hate/love, the way I style my frizzy hair, put make-up on my pale face, hence 'vlog'. Personally, I don't know what it is, but I love the "get ready with me tags" on YouTube. I have developed such an interest in seeing how other girls my age live, and stuff they like, hair products they use, clothes they buy, etc. It's like having a big group of girlfriends without the drama, lol. Does that sound weird? I dunno...obviously it's not weird, and I'm not the only one, considering Bunny has over a million subscribers, and Nicole is not far behind! 

Realistically, I suck at a lot of things. Especially cooking..and putting on liquid eyeliner, but especially cooking! I just figured, much like all the girls I've grown to love in the realm of the Internet, I'd share these things with the web too. Not everything I suggest is going to work for everyone else. I've had people rave about products they've tried because of my blog, and I've had people not like products too. It just depends.

Hopefully I've cleared a few things up for anyone who was wondering. If you weren't wondering, then you probably aren't even reading this because you clicked out already.

My favorite YouTubers (aside from Nicole and Bunny that I've already linked above):

Arden Rose
Kandee Johnson

And a random, completely un-beauty related:

Angry Video Game Nerd

If any of you grew up in the 90's like I did, and you don't mind more profanity then one can handle, please watch AVGN's videos. He just does reviews on old games he hates (on every game council you can imagine and probably never even heard of), and I've literally seen my dad choke on cereal before, laughing so hard at a few of them. I'm disappointed for the sole reason that I've literally watched every video, so I'm to the point where I have to wait for new ones to come out. He's gotten so big over the past few years, that it's harder for him to put out new videos as often, which I'm happy for him, and sad at the same time because I could watch them all day long. This one in particular is my favorite (Note: Due to language, these are NOT kid friendly! Just a warning):

Anyway, hope that cleared up a few things. If you have any video suggestions for me, or have a product you'd like me to try, please let me know in the comments!

Love thy kitties,