Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Xbox and Pickles

I'm not sure what's going on with me lately, but I swear for the past two weeks I have had a different bodily dilemma funkin' up my life. First, I'm not sure if it's allergies or what, but I get these staggering headaches, followed by nausea, followed by extreme fatigue, followed by me going to bed at 9:30 the night before I took my vacation day, sooo I shoulda been drinking and playing Halo 3 on Xbox and cussing out 12 year olds Xbox live, not going to bed. The next day, (this was last Thursday by the way, June 10th), Friday, I felt like I was constipated. Then it slowly turned into a dull pain in my abdomin and groin area, and I quickly realized that my bladder infection was coming back for revenge and I only had 3 pills left from the previous one from a month ago.  Yeah, I didn't finish the bottle like I was supposed too? Big whoop, wanna fight about it? So I payed the price and ended up having to go to the doctor again and pay $70 bucks out of pocket for him to tell me the same exact thing he told me last time and prescribe me the same exact medicine.  I originally called to ask them if they could just simply fill it for me since I knew what it was and they said no. Cheap asses...but nonetheless, they did take me yesterday without an appointment and got me in and outta there in 40 minutes.  The perks to that was that I got out of work an hour early, got my prescription refilled, and still had time to go to the grocery store, get my new registration sticker, and still made it home by 6pm to enjoy some yummy soup and sandwhiches with the man. Trust me, I would much rather pay $70 bucks and see a nice legitimate doctor, a minute from my house, then go sit back at Aunt Satan's Asshole, 25 minutes away, in the ghetto again, and wait 3 hours only to find out that I have to wait 3 more hours for a brand new doctor fresh outta med school...For those of you confused, please see my previous entry about 'Insurance-less chaps'.  So anyway, today I wake up, and I had to think whether or not I'd gone out drinking the night before.  My head was pounding.  I felt like someone had punched me directly in the eyeballs. My forehead, temples and cheekbones were thobbing like my head was a heartbeat, and I considered calling off work. Unfortunately, I had just taken a vacation day the previous Friday for a Phish show, so I couldn't take off another day.  So I popped two Aleve, got ready anyway, and carried on with the day.  Despite the pain I managed to get a lot done today and even made it to the gym to complete a mile on the treadmill--found out I lost about 8 pounds in the last month...awesome. I also found out that the scale at the gym that has been plaguing me for months is a peice of shit and adds about 4 pounds to everyone's losses.  So that whole time when I was freaking out thinking that I wasn't losing anything and couldn't figure it out, it was just the stupid scale...Did I not say it?!!? Did I not say a few posts ago, "I don't believe that scale"? I totally did.

Yesterday, upon returning home from the grocery store, I was unloading my groceries when a sickening crunch of breaking glass was heard from behind me, immediately followed by a wave of cold liquid on my new gladiator sandals. A giant jar of delictable Claussen pickle halves had ripped from the bag and attempted an escape.  So now, I'm standing there with my purse, 3 bags of groceries, feet soaked in pickle juice and those weird floaty spices, a pile of broken glass and about 8 beautiful pickles laying in the driveway.  For a second I just stood there, seriously considering picking up the driveway pickles, rinsing them, and transporting them into a tupperware...then I pictured myself marching back to the grocery store with the contents of the pickled mess in a plastic bag and demanding a new jar. Claussen's aren't cheap, they are roughly $4 bucks a jar, and never on sale, but they are SO worth it. The salty, garlickly goodness topped off with a perfect juicy crunch, you can't go wrong.  They aren't vinegary and rubbery like some. Yuck. But, I digress...I went inside and got the broom, and sadly swept the poor little guys, accompanied by a pile of shards, into a dustpan, and threw them into the garbage in slow motion. I could hear them screaming on the way down, and I had to walk away. It was a sad day in pickle history, and I'm SO pissed at that little blond idiot at the grocery store who didn't double bag my glass. She looked like Garth Algar from Wayne's World. Infact, she put a plasic jug of cranberry juice in with it.  I mean, who does that?  It's not rocket science...when you are distributing the items into a plastic bag, you can pretty much determine at that moment whether or not the bag will be able to hold the heavier items without overstretching the bag. Sigh. So being the nice person that I am, I disregarded the whole situation, and gave the Garth-look-a-like girl a break, for now.

I also hit a bird with the Sante Fe today...there were definitely bird guts in my grill and I wanted to throw up upon inspecting it. The thing flew right into my car while heading down a main highway...I just pictured the oncoming drivers laughing at me.

Well Ben is snoring on the couch, and I'm taking this opportunity to play me some Halo, so I will see everyone on the flip side.

Party on Wayne, party on Garth.


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