Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Those Damn Lesbos

So I was at the gym last week sometime, can't remember which day, and one of those damn lesbians was there.  I was on the elliptacle that they never go on, and Uncle Pat was on the treadmill in front of me.  I noticed she kept looking out the window, every 5 minutes or so, and I was under the impression that she was looking over her shoulder at me to see if I was done yet.  I started to get real angsty and huffy about it.  I feel like everytime the butcher of the two is in there, she's always eyeballing me.  Not eyeballing me because she has a crush on me or anything (thank God), but eyeballing me because she's jealous or something that I'm using a machine she may potentially want to use soon. Finally, I saw that stupid red stationwagon pull up, and you'd swear this lady had never seen Uncle Beatrice's so nauseating to watch. Uncle B is a short little woman about 4' 9", the tradition dykey salt and pepper grandma-do that old lesbians seem to adore so much, and bushy little eyebrows covered with glasses.  She walked in there with a big smile her face and practically glided over to Uncle Pat like she was in a dream and they stared at each other lovingly. It's so sickening. It's one of those things where your so disgusted you want to look away but you can't. So I just sood there and watched them chat while listening to my ipod and squinting my face in a disgusted fashion.  Uncle Pat is clearly the man in the relationship because she's very masculine. She stands like a guy, talks like a guy, and just has 'guy' mannerisms. I'm sure one of these days I will undoubtedly catch her 'fixing' her crotch area like a burly baseball player, then I will have wash my eyes.  Uncle B actually looks pretty normal and looks like she should work in a library or something, whereas I have a very strong suspicion that Uncle P works as a forklift truck driver in a factory somewhere. Luckily, the ambiguously gay duo hasn't been there all that much lately, which is good because they really put a damper on my work out with all there mushy love staring and their simultaneous work outs.  Yeah, you're gay, we know, but do you really have to work out in sync together and do all the same movements at exactly the same time? Gawd.  I have a boyfriend too, but you don't see us running side by side on a treadmill, at the exact same speed, jeez people.

But that's all for today, I'm off to the gymnasium. Byebye.

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