Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Iron Skillet Comedy Show
So we strolled in, half hour past 11, looking like the classiest people in the joint. For whatever reason unbeknown to me, we sat down at a table nearest to the only other occupants in the booths. Along the winders--excuse me, windows, there is a long row of booths. Probably 25 or so long, the buffet is in the middle, and then there are tables surrounding it. The rapist, pedophiles' and truckers all sit closest to the door at the tables. I would assume they sit there to have easier access to it when they need to flee from the police if need be. The prostitutes, pimps and men courting the prostitutes sit on the opposite side of the restaurant from the rapist, pedophiles and truckers. I assume this is to avoid mixing these crowds for reasons that I will leave to your imagination. The booths along the windows is where the drunk people sit. Drunks of all sorts, old drunks, young drunks, social drunks, slightly drunks, etc...The reason this could be is because from the booths, you have a view of the entire restaurant, so it allows you a smorgasbord of toothless wonders to make fun of.
Ben and I felt into the category of slightly drunk. Well me anyway, Ben hadn't drank for a few hours. Like I was saying, we sat next to the only other occupants sitting by the windows. After we sat down, we immediately regretted our decision. There were 4 people sitting in the booth in behind us. One of them looked mentally challenged with coke bottle glasses and a terrible comb over, another of them was an older blonde woman shaped like an unattractive pear, presumably his wife or girlfriend. The couple across from them was another, younger woman shaped like a very large, dimply, unattractive pear and dressed like a Mexican, but wasn't Mexican.
They were hootin' and hollerin' and kept saying things like, "I bet er'ybody thinks wer drunk, but we aint! Ahuylk-huylk-hulk!' and 'People must think we on some drugs! AHUYLK!' The mentally challenged man kept getting up and was pretending to 'look for something' but instead he would always just turn and stare at our table. Not at us, but literally at the table. The only thing that I think he may have been looking at was an outdated (by like 10 years) ad for a Nokia prepaid cell phone that was sticking out of our ketchup caddy, so I took it out and hid it behind the broken coin operated 3x5 TV that sits on each table. He got up and turned to look for a third time, saw it was gone, and defeated, sat back down next to dumbo.
We just kept looking at each other and giggling like little kids who just played a prank on someone. That place is so entertaining past 9 pm! Seriously, I'm not even kidding, I love that place. Finally our waitress 'Sasquatch Tammy' brought us our food. I'm not really sure if her name is Tammy, but she looked like a Tammy, and she towered over us like the Sears tower, or the Bruce Willis tower or whatever it's name is now. She had on electric blue eye shadow, and way too much Sensual Amber perfume. I tried to be semi healthy with my order, so I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with cheese, it was supposed to be on a roll of some sort, Tammy wasn't sure. But what I got was a 8 inch long, fried chicken sandwich with 3 pieces of 1/2 inch thick cheddar cheese on a sesame seed loaf. I was a little taken back by this completely incorrect, 8000 calorie, beast of a sandwich, but I was so hungry, so I didn't care. I ate half, and a few fries. Ben got some kind of breakfast skillet thing, with an oversized egg, ham, gray sausage and cheese omelet with hash browns and toast. A piece of gray sausage had fallen onto the table, so we proceeded to examine it. The only conclusion we came up with was that, it was gray. That's about it.
By this time, the crowd of carnies behind us had moved the circus out, so we were all alone. Sasquatch Tammy had disappeared so the girl at the cash register had to guess our table...in fact she said, "Ok, so I'm going to guess your table...Chicken sandwich and meat lovers skillet?' We nodded. For some reason she thought it was really funny, but we didn't laugh, so she then said, 'Ok, I guess I was the only one that though that was funny..."
It was just an overall, hilarious, entertaining trip to The Skillet, and I look forward to a trip back. I would highly suggest this place if you are looking for some decent beer munchie food and a few good laughs.
Have a nice day everyone.